#i know it’ll be okay. it’s just a lot of things have been going shitty lately and i thought this would make me feel better and it just—

[rosesradio]

.

[stevieschrodinger]

Part One Two

“I’m really sorry,” Steve is saying before Eddie has the door fully open, but it makes Eddie smile. It feels like Steve has started saying ‘I’m sorry,’ instead of ‘hello’ as a matter of course.

It’s Sunday afternoon though, and Eddie isn’t cooking anything and Steve isn’t holding an empty plate, so Eddie has no clue what Steve could be sorry for this time.

“Could you come and help me with something? It’ll just take two moments.”

“Sure thing,” Eddie agrees easily, slipping on his adventure crocs and following Steve down the hall.

Eddie follows Steve into and then through his apartment into the small bedroom. It’s a two bed apartment, the same as Eddie’s. Eddie uses his spare room to store his guitars. He has a desk in there too; a place to write and paint his miniatures and do guitar maintenance.

It’s a nursery. It’s cute, animal themed. The ceiling is painted powder blue, which drops down onto the walls about a foot before ending in a neatly done scalloped edge. The walls are white, but have cloud shapes printed on them in the same blue. There are random tufts of painted grass popping up from the floor; some with flowers. The rocker and the other furniture, including crib and chest of drawers, are all painted the same green, and the blinds are green jungle, with elephants and big cats and monkeys hiding amongst the leaves. A lot of the soft things are yellow and white, and Eddie has not a fucking clue as to the sex of Steve’s pup, so he asks as much.

Steve smiles, “I don’t know. I didn’t want to know. I like surprises.”

“Huh. Well. I’m always the one shaking the gifts at Christmas, but I do love a surprise too. What did you need?”

“We have the fixings for the mobile there ready, but I clean forgot about it until now, and I’m too big to stretch up there. Didn’t do it at the time because we were moving furniture and I was frightened I’d break it.”

“Okay sure,” Eddie takes the dangly parts of the mobile; cute little moons and stars and sun shapes, and fixes it to the bit already attached to the ceiling. It’s nice, and easy to figure out, but it does hang low so he gets what Steve means.

He also sees why Steve can’t reach; he seems to have suddenly gotten even bigger over the last week, and he's also only been wearing these sort of loose shift dresses, like a blouse, a button up, and a tent had a horrendous love child.

He looks gorgeous though. Eddie always thought pregnancy must be pretty fucking miserable; your body betraying you almost. Needing to pee all the time, unreasonable hormones. Cravings. Morning sickness. Odd shit happening all over the place. Eddie always figured telling pregnant people that they’re ‘glowing’ was just a nice thing people said to make them feel better during what must be a pretty shitty nine months.

Not with Steve though. Steve’s actually glowing. Not like literally glowing but...he’s beautiful, and Eddie suddenly understands what all the fuss is about.

Steve clears his throat. Right. Right okay, Eddie’s creepy staring, “so I was going to make chicken parm again tonight, since I know you like it and it’s been a bit...do you maybe want to get out the apartment and come to another, slightly different, apartment?”

Steve laughs a little, looking at where his hands cradle his bump, before looking back up, cheeks pink, “I think I’d like that.”

Eddie’s laid the table as nice as he can. He snagged a little bunch of daisy looking things out of the garden and shoved them in a mug, just because he remembered Steve’s little daffodil.

He doesn’t own place mats, but he does dig out a table cloth he usually only uses for games night; it’s black, but it’s clean.

Steve settles himself at the table and Eddie goes and gets dinner, he can’t help but notice Steve shift in his seat, wincing.

“You okay?”

Steve hums, “been getting funny back pain, but it’s all normal. Could be anything really, just the weight of the baby, or maybe they are leaning on my sciatic nerve. It’s all fine. Nearly done now.”

Steve takes the first bite of his dinner and hums appreciatively. It makes Eddie warm inside, a little tickle of his brain releasing happy chemicals. Omega is being fed. Omega is safe and happy.

Eddie tells it to fuck off.

“So you’re due soon?” Which feels like he;s stating the obvious, Steve is the size of a tiny moon.

“Tomorrow.”

Eddie makes a noise, startled, then nearly chokes on a string of spaghetti, “excuse me,” he manages to get out, before drinking half his water, Steve looking half concerned and more than a little amused from the other side of the table. “Tomorrow?” Eddie asks weakly.

Steve nods, chewing and swallowing before he answers, “the due date is tomorrow, but it’s the norm really for first pups to go over that, even more normal with male Omega, don’t worry, it’s fine. Although it should be soon, I passed the mucus plug yesterday.”

Eddie nearly chokes again, “the what?” he tries his best not to sound too horrified.

“Oh. Sorry, you probably don't want to hear about the uhm, the kind of gross stuff.”

“No, no, of course it’s fine what is...uhm...that?” And Eddie is fully prepared to regret acquiring this cursed knowledge. He doesn’t even know what it is and he’s already eyeing his spaghetti sauce dubiously. For Steve though...he will learn about the gross stuff.

“Oh, well, when you’re pregnant you get sort of this...lump of...gacky stuff and blood. You don’t have periods when you’re pregnant usually, so it kind of protects everything from infection getting in and stuff like that.”

Eddie takes a deep breath and lets it out, blowing up his bangs, and makes himself eat his dinner normally, “fair enough, but that means you’re...kinda’ close?”

“Well, kinda’. Robin’s spending this morning with her girlfriend and then this afternoon sorting her place out. She’ll be over later, she’s moving in until the pups a week old or so, just make sure I’m okay.”

“She’s...a really good friend, right?” It warms Eddie to know Steve has someone like that in his life.

“Yeah...she’s been there with me through everything. Every appointment, all the classes, everything. Even when I decided I wanted to do this it was...it was right after yet another crappy breakup, you know. She could have said all the sensible things about maybe it's not the right time yet, or that I should...think about it. You know, all that things that would have been totally reasonable for her to say but I'd just...I’d just had enough of waiting and she said she’d support me whatever, and that was that. She’s the best.”

Steve shifts again, putting down his cutlery to try and stretch his back out, hissing with pain, “you sure you’re okay?” Eddie asks, concerned.

“Yeah, fine I think,” Steve bends forward then, gripping the edge of the table and breathing out harshly through his nose, “oh that felt weird.”

Eddie’s up and coming around the table before he can stop himself, hovering his hands, not sure if it’s okay to touch, “Steve?”

“I...oh. Oh gosh I’m so sorry Eddie,” Steve stands cautiously revealing a very clear wet patch on the seat.

“I...that’s fine,” Eddie squeaks out, “are you...is this. Is that…?”

“Yeah, pretty sure my water just broke. And I really wanted that chicken parm,” Steve sighs.

“I can make it again,” Eddie says reflexively, “kind of feel like there’s bigger things to think about what should- like can I help? What do we do?”

Eddie finds himself, very strangely, not panicking. Like, well, maybe a little, but not an uncontrollable amount. Which now he’s here that’s a really nice surprise.

“I’ll just call Robbie, and then will you walk me home?”

And Eddie had maybe had inappropriate thoughts about walking Steve home so he could steal a kiss, not whatever this is. But. Still. “Of course.”

Steve smiles at him with his phone next to his ear, “it’s go time Birdie. Oh, what was I supposed to say? Code red? The eagle is...leaving? I can’t remember, you couldn’t make your mind up about the-” Steve hisses, bending to lean on the table, “yep, yep, see you soon.”

Steve hangs up, telling Eddie she’s on her way as they walk down the hall, dinner abandoned on the table. Steve chooses to stand, walking little laps back and forth along the back of the couch, “is there anything I can do?”

“My bag and car seat are in the nursery, if you don’t mind grabbing those?” Eddie does, putting Steve’s things right by the door, “oh, and a towel, from the bathroom? I don’t want to make a mess in Rob’s car.”

“Sure thing,” Eddie grabs a bath towel from there, and puts it on top, just as Steve’s phone starts ringing.

Eddie can practically feel it when Steve tenses up, his scent turning bitter with distress. Despite what’s going on, Steve’s scent hadn’t changed at all until now, “your car won’t start?”

He sounds terrified.

“I. Yeah. Okay. I can wait I’ll- okay.”

“Okay?” Steve shakes his head, eyes suddenly wet, he looks like he’s biting back tears and Eddie can’t stop himself from going to him.

“She’s got to wait for Chrissy to get to her place and pick her up, then they’ll come over,” Eddie has to make this better. He has to.

“Okay, how about this, me and you go now, I’ll take you, and they can meet you there? That’ll make it faster right?”

“I mean, I’m not...I mean labor can take hours and hours, I’m being silly I just- Eddie I’m a bit scared. She was supposed to be here, it’s a bit too soon.”

They end up holding hands, which Eddie’s kind of thrilled about even if Steve is squeezing the life out of him, “would you feel better if you were waiting at the hospital?”

Steve bites his lip, clearly torn, “are you sure you don’t mind?”

“I’ll get my keys.”

Part Four

[icallhimjoey]

eddie?! 👀 did you say EDDIE?!?! 👀👀👀👀

i DID say eddie! i had a tiny idea that fit the version of eddie ive written before (and the only version of eddie ive written before) and so... here we are. i am: so sorry. Wordcount: 6.6K

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Let’s Go Home

(find all other parts of this story here)

“Let’s go get him.”

You sound very determined for someone completely unsure of how to handle the situation. It’s difficult to watch someone so deeply unhappy struggle with parts of their past they can’t seem to get a grip on.

“I… what?” two wet, red-rimmed eyes stare back at you. Confused. A little annoyed.

“Yea. Come on. Let’s go. We’re packing our bags and we’re going to go pick him up and bring him back here.”

Eddie doesn’t get it. Frowns, entirely unsure of who you’re talking about.

“Steve’s already here… and Wayne is coming here for Christmas, we don’t need to–…” he looks so tired.

“I know we don’t need to.”

It always happened when the days got a little shorter. When the nights got colder and Christmas loomed. When happy, wholesome family moments would be advertised all over the world, and it all became glaringly obvious – once again – how that was something Eddie never got to be a part of when he was little. Not until Wayne took him in and tried his best to make the holidays special in his own way.

No matter how hard Wayne tried, though, the bitter aftertaste of abandonment and loneliness was impossible to get rid of.

Eddie would never admit this to Wayne, but celebrating Christmas just the two of them felt just as pathetic and lonely as it had done when he lived with his parents still.

Different.

Definitely not as traumatizing, which was good.

But still dreary, and sad, with a lot of playing pretend that he was okay and happy and fine.

He was never okay and happy and fine.

Still isn’t okay and happy and fine.

That’s not Wayne’s fault, Eddie knows, and he feels like a shitty person because Wayne always tried his best. Did what he could. It just never quite worked.

Christmas would roll around, and Eddie would get depressed.

That’s just what happened.

Eddie would slip into sadness, scary thoughts intruding happy places they weren’t allowed to settle into, but he’d not yet learnt how to tell them to fuck off. To leave him alone. Didn’t know how to get the uninvited guests out of his house, and felt powerless as he watched them settle into his living room. Nothing he could do about it.

Somber, pensive moments would slowly stretch until they covered most of the day. Mornings were the happiest, still. He’d wake up after falling asleep eventually, never managing to slip into dreams before 3 AM, and for a moment, he’d forget. The short amount of sleep would have him tired enough to not remember the reality of his life for a second, and in those moments, it would just be you in bed with him and that would be the only thing in existence.

It’s awful to feel reality set into someone’s body mid-hug.

You wish you knew how to keep it out.

Over the years Eddie had learnt he had to vocalize his feelings. His thoughts. Knew that a burden shared was a burden halved, but knowing things in theory didn’t make them easier in practice.

“What can I do? Let me help.” You’d whisper, and Eddie was lucky you’d known each other for so long. There were no worried questions of are you okay, or a concerned soft hey what’s wrong.

You know he’s not okay, and you know what’s wrong.

“You, here. That’s all you need to do.” Eddie would murmur and he’d pull you in to hold you for a short while. And sometimes, that would temporarily fix him.

There is part of Eddie that honestly thinks if he doesn’t think about it, that it’ll be okay.

If he ignores it for long enough, it might go away by itself.

He’s lucky that sometimes, it does.

He pretends that the foundation of shit that he’d been given for his life hasn’t got all the cracks in. The house he has tried to build on top might shake a bit in the wind, but he can convince himself that the strong support beams that have been put in place will make sure the whole thing doesn’t collapse.

But it’s getting closer and closer to Christmas, and he’s sinking deeper and deeper into everything that’s dark, and cold, and uncomfortable, and painful, and scary.

Everything is designed to make people feel happy around this time of year, and he’s in LA where the sun shines all year long and it doesn’t even really get cold at all. Not like it gets cold in Hawkins. The days don’t really get that much shorter, and he can go outside in a T-shirt and be fine. But maybe that’s precisely the problem right now; there’s no quick get inside the house, and no let me warm your hands up for you.

The comfort of a frozen nose that get nuzzled back to life is unattainable in LA.

“Can you go to another meeting? Would that help, do you think?” you silently ask him one evening, hidden under the covers and too tired to stay awake for much longer, even though you know Eddie’s wide awake next to you. He’ll toss and turn for a couple more hours after you’ve drifted off.

“Yea, of course. I should.” Eddie is quick to reply, but you know he doesn’t want to.

Talking about his addiction with strangers when he’s trying his best to pretend it’s not there will just make things worse, he thinks. Logically, he knows it probably won’t, but there’s always that fear.

“Can I join you?”

You feel how Eddie shifts in bed, probably to take a look at you, but your eyes are closed and you’re about to fall asleep. This isn’t the time to fall into a conversation in which he asks you why on earth you would want to hear a lot of people you don’t know talk about a lot of drastic measures you don’t need to know people let themselves be pushed to sometimes.

So instead, you feel a kiss press to your temple, and he whispers, “Sure you can.”

At first, Eddie doesn’t say much in the meeting you join him for. You mostly listen to issues other people bring forward, and try to think of things you’d do if Eddie was the person speaking. If he was the one with all of those problems. How would you help?

How would you fix it?

When a kind, soft-spoken voice asks if there’s anyone new who wants to share, a lot of eyes fall on you, and you shift in your seat. Sit up a little. Feel Eddie squeeze your hand in his which could have meant, it’s okay, you can tell people why you’re here, but instead it means, I got this.

Eddie talks.

Tells everyone about how he feels like he’s deep in a depression and that he doesn’t really know how to get out of the dark pit he’s fallen into.

How it feels like he’s five years old and stuck in a small dark room, and he’s feeling all over the walls but can’t locate the light switch, and the longer he’s looking, the more he starts feeling claustrophobic in there.

You make the mistake of asking him if he can call out for help.

“Have you tried asking? Maybe someone else can turn the light on for you…”

Eddie breaks down, elbows on his knees, face hidden from the group as he looks at the wooden floor boards through his tears.

It’s not your fault.

Eddie doesn’t expect you to understand the feeling of being so utterly helpless and alone that he knows there’s no use in even trying to call for help.

No one would’ve answered.

You scoot your seat closer to his, and lean into his side as you wrap an arm around his back, fingers curling around his shoulder. It’s nice. He needs it. He also knows there’s thirteen pairs of eyes on him and he doesn’t know how to tell you that no matter how hard you’ll try, you won’t be able to actually fix anything.

“Let me turn the light on. Let Steve, or let Wayne– Robin… we can all help turn the light on. We’ll fly Wayne out, Robin too, and anyone else that you want. They can all move in, we have the space for it. Just… please, let us turn the light on, Eddie…”

It’s the fucking sweetest thing he’s ever heard, but he can reach for the light himself now. He can find it in the dark, and he can turn it on. The problem is that it doesn’t make a fucking difference.

Turning a light on now doesn’t change anything about his past.

Eddie gets asked if he has anything more to share. He sniffs and wipes his face with both his hands before he sits up and leans back and says, “Thank you, but um, no. I don’t. It’s this time of year, I guess. I know it’ll pass.”

You hold hands, fingers intertwined, as you listen to everyone else share more of their own personal issues, and when you leave Eddie puts his arm around you and pulls you close to kiss the side of your face. He tells you that he loves you, that he’s glad that he came, and he thanks you for coming with him.

You can see in his eyes that none of it helped.

Eddie lets himself sink deeper and all you can really do is be there for him. Be there when he wakes up and be there when he goes to sleep. You give him the gift of routine. Of healthy meals. Of pleasant walks outside. Long showers after.

It helps.

But it doesn’t fix anything.

You try your best at damage control. Talk to Steve. Call Wayne a lot.

And it helps.

But about two weeks later, Eddie starts isolating.

He had never isolated before.

Not like this.

He’s in his home studio, hyperfocussing on four seconds of a song he’s working on, and when you interrupt to tell him you’re going to go to bed, he says he’ll come up in a minute. He just needs to figure this bit out. “I’m so close, I can taste it.” Eddie smiles a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes, and for a moment you think Eddie’s going to let you listen to his work in progress. He always asks for your opinion, but this time he doesn’t. He just looks at you with a smile that’s just there for reassurance until you leave him alone.

At 5 AM you get woken up by Steve, who softly says, “You need to come downstairs…” and leads the way for you.

“I got up to pee, and the bathroom is right above the studio…”

You find Eddie in the exact same spot, going over the exact same four seconds of music.

He looks like he’s being tortured, barely able to keep his eyes open. When you gently pry the guitar from his hands, his breathing changes, and you think if he would have had the energy to sob, he would have cried like a child.

“Let’s go to bed, Eddie.”

Eddie lets you take him upstairs, but then locks himself in the bathroom and when you ask if he can let you in, all you can hear are soft sniffles whilst the shower runs.

It’s then that you decide.

Something is different this time around.

Something deeper has bubbled up, and you know whatever you are doing here, in LA, to help him simply will not be enough.

You establish a plan and pull out two suitcases that you place onto your bed. You’re going to pack your bags and you’re going to go get him.

It’s clearly necessary.

Eddie is no longer letting you comfort him and you’re scared that the next step is going to be a relapse.

“What are you doing?”

“Let’s go get him.”

“I–… what?”

Eddie hasn’t slept, and his unwashed hair is wet from the shower he’s sat in for a while, and you’re very calmly and methodically folding clothes into a suitcase. You might as well be speaking in a different language right now.

“Yea. Come on. Let’s go. We’re packing our bags and we’re going to go pick him up and bring him back here.”

Eddie slowly moves to sit down on the bed, and he looks at what you’re doing for a moment before he sighs and softly says, “Steve’s already here… and Wayne is coming here for Christmas, we don’t need to–…”

He stops speaking when he sees your slight smile.

“I know we don’t need to.” You say and Eddie doesn’t like how you look at him with so much care in your eyes. He doesn’t think he deserves it.

Doesn’t deserve you.

“Do you want to bring both of your black hoodies?” you then ask, not giving him a chance to question what’s happening, and so he just goes, “Yea… yea, sure.” before he lets himself fall backwards onto the mattress where he shuts his eyes.

You let Eddie sleep for as long as sleep will hold him. Pack up both suitcases and let Steve help you book travel back home.

“Do you want to come?” you ask when Steve is on the phone to a travel agent. He is listening to the woman who’s reading him back information he’s just given her, so he can’t answer you, but he reaches out and holds your hand whilst you listen to him book two tickets to Indiana.

When he gets off the phone he reaches for your other hand as well and says, “I’ll watch the house.”

You give him a slight frown. “You know he’d love you to come with us… Wayne says Hawkins is covered in snow. We could watch Christmas films in the trailer… get Robin and run across Lover’s Lake again… or, call Dustin and, I don’t know, Eddie could challenge him to a snow ball fight and they could play–”

“Dustin’s 26 years old.”

“Yea...” you frown at Steve. “So?” you sound desperate.

Steve huffs a laugh as he rubs his thumbs over your hands. He grimaces a little before he says, “No offense, but… he doesn’t need us out there. Of course you’ve got to go with him, but every other person is going to be one too many.”

And Steve’s right.

The next day, Steve joins you outside as you’re about to leave. He hugs Eddie for a long time by the trunk of the car, and you know they’re softly talking to each other. You can only see Eddie’s back, and Steve’s face is hidden by all of Eddie’s curls, but suddenly you can hear Eddie laugh before he pokes Steve in the side.

You get hugged next.

Eddie doesn’t sleep on the flight. Just stares out the window and gets lost in thought. You know he’s not entirely sure of why you’re taking him back to Hawkins, but he’s also not asked about it again.

When your rental car stops in front of Wayne’s trailer, you turn the engine off and sit in silence for a moment as you both just… look at it. It’s four in the afternoon, but it’s getting dark outside already.

Forest Hills.

A surprisingly large lot of land that holds about twenty-four sporadically placed trailers; some of them neatly lined up, others facing whichever way. Wayne’s trailer was one of those ones, placed diagonally to the road, surrounded by dry grass for most of the year which was now hidden by a thick layer of snow.

Momentarily, everything about the image that you’re looking at looks like it’s 1987. Maybe 1988. You can easily envision a younger version of yourself running up to that same front door, it swinging open before you could even get up the steps, Eddie bursting through just to throw you over his shoulder and haul you inside.

“We’re here...” you break the silence, stating the obvious, and find Eddie’s hand to squeeze.

It’s a little silly, but it looks like he’s scared.

“Did you tell him we were coming?”

“Wayne?”

Eddie turns to look at you, slightly confused because, yea who the fuck else?

“Yea. I called Wayne.”

You watch how Eddie takes a breath. Watch that information settle within him.

“Do you want me to come with you?”

And Eddie does. Doesn’t want to do anything without you, ever.

But he takes a shaky breath and says, “I’ll come get you in a second.” before he opens the door and gets out of the car.

Footsteps crunch in the snow, and you watch Eddie, hands in pockets, rush up the steps to what used to be the trailer that he lived in with his uncle. The trailer that he found home in when he was about seven years old and Wayne had decided that his bedroom could actually be Eddie’s bedroom instead for a while.

A while turned into fifteen years in the blink of an eye.

You watch Eddie hug Wayne through the window. It’s another long embrace, but this one doesn’t part with boyish grins and jabbing fingers. Instead, you can see how Eddie goes limp in Wayne’s arms a little, and when he goes to pull back, Wayne just… holds on.

Just a little longer.

It feels a little wrong to be watching them like this, chin perched on the steering wheel, fingers hidden in your sleeves. It feels especially invasive when you see how when they eventually part, the first thing both men do is bring their sleeves to their faces to dry what has become wet.

Then, Eddie steps away. Slowly walks towards the room that used to be his bedroom, and he goes alone.

Good, you think.

That’s good.

Wayne didn’t understand at first, when you told him over the phone. That you were coming over for a strange, but important visit. But this was good.

It takes a while.

Your fingers start to lose their feeling a little as you wait in the car, but it’s fine. You are not the priority right now.

When Eddie eventually emerges from the trailer, you get out of the car, and wait for him to call for you. A, come on. Come inside. It’s fucking freezing out here.

Instead, you get silence. Eddie doesn’t stop walking to wave you over.

He makes his way all the way over to where you’re stood next to the car, and then, he hesitates for a moment.

Eddie can’t look you in the eye.

“Everything okay?”

You know it’s not.

“He um…” Eddie starts, voice trembling. “He’s not here.”

“What?”

Eddie moves closer to place a kiss to your temple, eyes looking away, over the top of the car, across the trailer park. “He’s not here. I didn’t find him.”

Eddie steps around you and gets into the passenger seat, and for a moment, you stand with both shoes in slush whilst you try to think of what to do next. When you look back at the trailer, you catch Wayne through he window. Gives you a smile and a wave.

For a moment you contemplate running over, up those same steps, to ask what happened inside. Maybe Wayne has answers to questions you keep asking yourself.

Before you can, Eddie roars the engine back to life.

You give Wayne a wave back from where you’re stood and round the car to get into the passenger’s seat. You can talk to Wayne later.

Back inside the car, you put your seatbelt on and look at Eddie for a moment. He’s got one hand on the steering wheel, the other on the gearshift, and he’s biting his lip as he stares into space.

“If he’s not here…” you start pensively.

“It’s quite the drive.” Eddie answers, unmoving.

“We have the time.”

“I don’t think we’d make it back here before midnight.”

“Hey,”

Eddie turns his head to look at you.

“We have time.” You repeat yourself and place your hand on the back of his head where you softly scratch your fingers into his hair. “You good to drive?”

You don’t get an answer. Instead, Eddie puts the car in reverse and starts backing out. Just before he’s about to fully leave Forest Hills Trailer Park, he stops the car, even though there’s no traffic to wait for.

“I can drive if you want me to–”

“N-no, that’s not it. I can drive, but I…”

Eddie stares. Looks at his hands and just sits in silence, going through it. Then suddenly, he takes his seatbelt off, opens his door and quickly says, “I’ll be right back.” and he runs.

Left in a car with a running engine and a wide open door, you turn in your seat to watch Eddie’s breath leave him in white clouds as he runs back to the trailer, back up the steps, back inside. You’re too far away to see in the windows now.

It only takes a minute.

When he comes back, jogs down those steps in the snow, he looks a little lighter somehow. Like running back towards the car is a little easier.

Eddie gets back in the car, and he’s all loud inhales and rough exhales, hands rubbing together because it’s cold and he just ran through the snow, but then he looks at you as he puts on his seatbelt and he smiles.

There’s tears in his eyes, but he’s smiling.

“Had to tell him it’s okay. That I’m okay.”

Somehow, Eddie is beaming and solemn at the same time, but you’re happy that something has changed a little. That he seems to get it. You sink into your seat a bit more when Eddie pulls onto the road and starts heading south.

Eddie told you once, years ago, that he used to live in a motel before he came to Hawkins. How that’s all his parents could afford, and even then, they were always fighting with the front desk about money. Always late on payments.

It was just one big room, and even though it was just him, his mother and sometimes his dad, there were always people in their room. Strangers. Friends, his mother would tell him. Sometimes she’d even tell him, this is your Uncle Frank, and Eddie would be forced to shake the hand of a man he had never seen before and would never see again.

Eddie spent a lot of his early childhood confused.

He spent a lot of his childhood hiding.

Afraid.

Alone.

He wouldn’t ever trust anyone. People told him one thing and then they would laugh together and they would do something else.

Adults were evil, and yet the world was made so that adults were the ones that had to look after him. That made the decisions. That told him, go play outside, even if rain was coming down hard, and Eddie would have no other choice but to listen. To do as he was told.

He was only a little kid.

When Eddie was seven years old, he got kicked out of the room at eight in the morning and got told to not come back until they were ‘ready for him’.

Like he knew what that meant.

No one had told him how to tell time.

Eddie didn’t go to school.

But he knew that being sent outside meant that he had to go find his own entertainment for a while, and so he did.

Eddie was seven years old when he came back around lunch time with skinned knees and grass stains in his shorts, and there was commotion.

Lots of people.

People in uniforms.

A cop car.

A kind woman who asked him if he had lost his way. If she could help him get home. Eddie had just smiled and said, no thanks, and had tried to hide in the spot where he always hid. Adults were not to be trusted, Eddie knew. No matter how kind they looked.

Eddie was seven years old when he got pulled from his safe space, his little hiding spot, kicking and screaming, and got brought over to Wayne’s trailer. He’d never been back to that motel room again. Had never even gotten close.

The sun has fully set by the time you pull up outside of an old, run down motel that looks like it should’ve been torn down ages ago. Most windows are boarded up, paint on the walls is chipping and what used to be a light-up sign has been torn down.

It’s a dump.

Just trying to imagine someone growing up here has you choking up.

Little four-year-old Eddie running around these grounds? In dirty clothes too big for his body because nobody was feeding him right? Being exposed to things no child should ever be exposed to, simply because his bedroom was also the only room they had?

Before you can let it make you cry, you hear a faint chuckle beside you.

It’s small and weak, but it’s a chuckle none the less.

“I remember this place much bigger,” he says, like it’s funny. “There’s only like… seven rooms.” Eddie counts.

You’re momentarily unsure if coming here was a good idea. If facing this reality of his past is going to be doing him any good. If it won’t just break him down even more. But then Eddie turns to look at you and says, “Come, let me show you.”

Eddie visiting the place where he spent the first few years of his life turns into him giving you a surprisingly pleasant tour of the grounds. He recounts the other people that lived there, the rooms he wasn’t allowed into. How there used to be a soda machine here, and how sometimes the older kids would ask him to get them some cans for free, because his arms were small and skinny enough to just sneak them out the bottom.

It’s easy to skim the surface of this place like this.

To make it about showing you around instead of sinking down past the layers of self-protection that would have him walking around here with wobbly legs.

Yea.

This is easier. Better.

All of the doors are locked, but it doesn’t take much more than a good shove of a shoulder for the locks to give way. For the wood of the doorframes to splinter.

“Entering the Forest Hills way.” Eddie grins, and you suppress a smile. It’s a lie. Forest Hills is full of all honest, all hard-working people. But, it’s still a trailer park, and thus, the joke is funny.

Without much care, Eddie easily manages to open every door he comes across. It’s dark everywhere you go, none of the lights work, but the streetlights out front provide you with plenty of it, and your eyes quickly adjust.

Eddie shows you the laundry. Breaks into a little back office. A supply closet. Some other motel rooms - some that had semi-permanent guests staying there too, just like he used to be one. And some that would have overnight guests that didn’t know about the draft that would make the door slam so hard, you’d lose your fingers if they got caught in between.

It’s almost joyful, how Eddie talks about his memories. He hasn’t got many, he was so young, but every time he comes across something he remembers, he seems pleasantly surprised at his brain’s ability to bring it all back to him.

But then, when you eventually stop outside room number five, he pauses.

Stops.

Stares at the doorknob.

You can feel how his entire demeanor changes, and even though it’s painful to witness, you know that this is why you came here. This is the whole reason you drove all the way out here.

Eddie takes a good, deep breath but doesn’t move otherwise. Just keeps his eyes locked on a rusty old doorknob to a locked door of a room that probably looks exactly like all the other ones Eddie had already shown you.

“Is this where you lived?” you ask, doing your best to make your voice sound as neutral as possible. You don’t want to scare him off. Don’t want to trigger something.

Eddie nods, a barely-there up and down movement of his head, and then he goes for the doorhandle, rattles it weakly.

Keeps staring at it.

“Door’s locked.” He croaks, like that had been a problem for any of the other doors.

But it does make sense.

You understand that the person who opened up all those other doors was Eddie in his thirties, showing you around.

The person staring at the doorknob now, was Eddie as a child.

Afraid to go inside, unsure of what he was going to find there.

Not strong enough.

Maybe only just tall enough to even reach.

But, you were strong.

You had witnessed how a little force had gone a long way with these locks, and after giving Eddie a second to maybe ask for help, because God, you really wanted him to realize he could just ask for help, he doesn’t ask for shit, and you decide to take matters into your own hands.

Before Eddie even registers you taking a few steps back to get a running start, the wood of the door has already split from the blow of your shoulder.

“Oh my G–” Eddie jumps, both arms reaching out to grab at you and to pull you close. He makes sure he holds you where you ran into the door, large palm cupping over the curve of your shoulder, and he rubs the skin there. Which helps, because, you’re not really hiding the fact that Jesus fuck that fucking hurt very well.  

Despite the sting, there’s a moment where you both see the humor in what just happened, and looking at each other, you both let huffs of laughter escape you.

“Are you crazy? What you do that for, huh?” Eddie pretend scolds.

You shrug, “Forest Hills way.”  

The comedic relief is so welcome, but it’s short-lived. You see from up close how Eddie’s expression drops. He goes from looking at his insane girlfriend with all the love he’s got for her spilling from his eyes, to looking over your head into the dark room where he used to live, and it all slips away.

You wait by the door.

Want Eddie to do this alone because you think it’ll be better that way.

You also truly don’t know what to do, so it feels a little safer to just… wait outside. You wouldn’t know how to help anyway.

Just like when you were outside of Wayne’s trailer, it feels a little invasive to look at Eddie as he silently takes slow steps inside and looks around. At the same time, you can’t really look away. If he’s going to break down and fall to his knees, you want to be there within a second to pick him back up.

Eddie trails slow fingers along a dresser.

Takes careful steps towards a nightstand of which he opens and then closes the drawer.

“Huh…” he comments. Looks around the full room again, sees it in different light as he stands in another corner, the lights from outside showing him different parts of the room.

He disappears into the bathroom for a moment before he steps back out, and he looks… confused.

Surprised, maybe. A little dumbfounded.

He gives the room another glance, and then turns to find you watching him in silence.

“This is really weird,” Eddie comments, both eyebrows raised.

“Yea? How so?”

“I don’t know… it’s different. It’s not like I remember. I think… I don’t know, I think my mind made this room the most terrible place ever in the world, but it’s just… it’s just a room. There’s nothing…” Eddie twirls on the spot, “Yea, it’s just a room. Nothing’s… nothing is scary.”

You swallow audibly, and hesitate before you speak.

“It’s not scary.” Eddie concludes again before you can say anything, and he raises both shoulders at you in a long shrug, like he’s trying to convince you that it’s all right.

You’re not the one who needs convincing though.

“Is, um…” you start, and you clear your throat, entirely unsure of how Eddie is going to react to your question.

After visiting Wayne, you think he gets it now.

He gets why you took him back to Indiana.

Eddie has let his eyes fall on a weird piece of wall art he doesn’t remember, something that maybe they added to the room after his parents had been kicked out, and he’d been taken away to go live somewhere safer.

“Is he here?”

“Huh?”

“Is he in here, somewhere?”

It takes a moment of Eddie looking at you before he fully registers what you’re talking about.

His gaze drifts towards the closet next to the bathroom door.

It’s shut. Both bifold doors closed.

Eddie stalls for a moment, and then he raises an arm to open one of the doors before he drops it by his side again.

The closet’s empty.

It seemingly comes from nowhere, the way your lips suddenly quiver. How your eyes well up with tears so quickly. You have to cover your mouth with your hand to remain silent; this isn’t about you.

Eddie is slowly taking it all in, looks around the inside of the closet. The stains in the carpet. The peeling wallpaper. The mismatched hangers, a couple plastic ones amongst a couple more wire ones. And then he looks up and finds the the little yellowed piece of string that hangs down from way up high.

He reaches up and pulls it.

An audible click is heard.

Nothing changes though.

No light springs on.

Eddie pulls it again. Softly smiles. Pulls it a couple more times.

Click, click.

Click, click.

Nothing happens.

You’re about to burst with a violent sob when you see how Eddie, entirely in his own thoughts, inside of his own memories, slowly steps into the closet and closes the door behind him.

You hear the clicking of the light a couple more times, and need to step away.  

It’s too much.

The visuals of a tiny little malnourished Eddie hiding in a closet unable to reach the string of the light in there is going to make you hyperventilate if you’re not careful, so you have to take a walk.

It’s fucking freezing but hot tears trail down your cheeks as you hurry back to your rental car.

It doesn’t take much longer for Eddie to step outside, leaving the place where he spent the first few years of his life. His long legs carry him over to you quickly.

You can tell that he’s holding back sobs until he’s close enough to crash himself into you.

Arms wrap so tightly, they almost hurt. Bodies wrack with silent sobs until deep breaths calm the both of you down.

It takes a good while.

Eddie is first to pull back, and whilst cupping your face, both his thumbs wiping underneath your eyes in a bid to rid you of your tears, he manages to squeak, “Found him.”

“Yea?” you ask wetly. Hopeful.

This is why you came out here.

To find the small version of Eddie who, even as a toddler, knew that calling out for help was a waste of time because the calls would go unanswered.

To take him home.

“Turned on the–” Eddie throat closes up before he can even say it.

“Turned on the light for him?” you finish for him, and he just nods as he presses his lips together to keep them from wobbling.

Eddie goes in for another hug, hides his face in the side of your neck and grounds himself there.

You can feel how he’s actively trying to steady his own breathing.

It works, eventually.

“Did you…” you start, still holding him, but falter for a moment.

“Did I what?” Eddie asks, sniffing loudly, pulling back after you nudge your nose into his hair.

“Did you take him with you?”

It’s such a silly question. Eddie can’t help the smile that carefully plays at the corner of his mouth, and his eyebrows scrunch up as he looks down at you. He can dissect the question that pops up in the back of his brain for the fourth time today another time. How can he even begin to figure out why he deserves someone like you in his life?

“I did.” He confirms, and you let the breath you were holding escape you in a shudder.

He doesn’t think he deserves you.

“Good.” you smile, and maybe things are starting to look up, a little. Maybe the universe is slowly starting to make amends with Eddie. Is starting to apologize for all the shit it put little Eddie through in this godforsaken place no one should spend more than a single night at.

“Let’s take him home then.”

Eddie cries.

Thought he was done, but he’s not.

He lets you press kisses to the skin just underneath his eyes as he closes them.

He lets you open the car door and help him into the passenger’s seat.

Lets you drive all the way back to Wayne’s whilst he cries, because this is the second time little Eddie makes this trip, from the motel to Forest Hills. But this time he’s not scared.

He knows he’s going to go to a better place.

A safer place.

To a person who will try his very best hand at proper damage control. Who’s got a nice trailer, and a room that will get turned into his own bedroom three days into his stay.

To a person who will join Eddie in the closet for those first few nights. Who will just bring him food in there, have their dinner hidden away together, and who won’t force him out.

Who will play silly games with him in there, until the trips to the bathroom feel safe enough to do on his own.

There’s never other people in the trailer.

Just them.

Safe.

Eddie cries as he remembers more. Thought he had forgotten almost everything, but he remembers so much. He can’t talk about anything yet. Not now. His voice won’t let him. But that’s okay. You’ve got the radio on and need to focus on the road, and you’re taking him back to Wayne, and all he really wants to do is sleep.

And you just drive, and hold Eddie’s hand as he clings to you, and this is good.

It’s good.

Little Eddie deserves the fucking world.

You think so.

And you know of a handful of people who would wholeheartedly agree.

Slowly, you think Eddie might start to understand where you’re coming from.

He was never okay and happy and fine.

Still isn’t okay and happy and fine.

But the light has been switched on.

There’s light now.

He might one day be okay and happy and fine, and that’s something that before today was the most difficult thing to grasp.

“We’re taking you home, kiddo. I got you.” Eddie whispers, soft enough so only he can hear it over the engine and the music coming from the radio.

“Let’s go home.”

---

The Taglisted

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@notverywise, @overthinking-raccoon, @pepperstories, @pinchofhoney, @readergf

@royale1803, @sherrylyn0628, @shizlac, @solzi1420, @songforeddiemunson

@sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73, @werepartnersnow

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Add yourself

[theautisticwriter]

Love Letters: Yandere! Helluva Boss characters X G/N Reader

Characters- Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Asmodeus, Fizzarolli

Show- Helluva Boss

Genre- romantic, yandere

Summary- Mini love letters from your not so secret stalkers admirers!

Warnings- swearing, pet names, yandere themes, mentions of planned kidnapping, stalking, delusional characters, unwanted attention

Word count- 1.5K

Extra notes- I have a Hazbin Hotel version of this uploaded as well!

key: f/l = first letter of your name, y/n = your name, n/n = your nickname

———————————————————

By this point you know who it is y/n, I’m the only person COOL enough to send u romantic as fuck letters like the old people do

Sorry for eating the food u made last night, when i was raiding ur fridge it looked so fucking good (and it was, who knew u could cook :P). i left u a pony as a replacement, u can’t eat it but it’ll make u think of me ;) and that pony cost me a FUCK ton of money, collectors addition and shit. i know, bad fucking ass right??

the stupid shitty loud alarm u installed didn’t work when i came in, ud be much safer with me and loony. that’s the plan anyways babe, u have NO idea the fucking creeps that live down here, they’re all fucking animals and ur…not, a fucking asshole i guess.

i drew you smth (it’s the thing stuck on the back of the envelope with the glitter glu)

^glue

it’s me and u holding hands, like other couples do. we’re better than those corny fuckers tho, hence the crowns on our heads.

ignoring my texts, BLOCKING ME (still upset about this BY THE WAY) and then ignoring my very nice letters is kinda a dick move f/l, but it’s whatevs. everything is almost ready for ur move in. i cleaned up n everything :D

from the only bitch worth ur time,

blitzø

<3 (ignore that, moxxie threw a gun at me and my hand slipped, might fire him)

———————————————————

Hiya sweet cheeks!!!

It’s Mills here, just checking in! Via letter! Ain’t that just the fanciest little thing? Mox said it’s the best way to show thought and care to someone, so here’s all my thoughts and care, just for you!

How’ve you been? Good I hope, I’ve been just peachy thanks for asking! My Ma and Pa are super excited to meet ya one day, they’ve even started planning the wedding! Now I told them to slow their horses down, and not the overwhelm ya, we’ll get to that don’t you worry darlin.

Im just so excited to write this letter for you! Ain’t it so romantic?? I’m practically squealing in delight at the thought of you opening this and swoonin’, that’s what you’re doing, right?

Now i’m writing this on my break, and my boss really needs me back in the game! I got employ of the month! Most amount of kills, with the best and bloodiest results baby!

Until next time sweetheart,

Your Mills! ♡

———————————————————

Hi y/n,

It’s Moxxie here, I was a little nervous to send this letter to you, but I always try to follow my heart, and my heart was telling me to communicate with you in the most romantic way I know how due to our current circumstances of being so far away. It’s hard, for the both of us i’m sure, but we’ll be okay y/n.

As much as I don’t get along with my father, he has been helpful with my preparations for your arrival. It’s a big deal, moving in together. I’m sure your anxious, I am too, but in the best way possible. Love is pure, and can make somebody feel whole, it’s a wonderful feeling. I never want that to be taken away from me, and you are the source of all my love. That’s why we need to be together, being only half a demon isn’t good for the soul.

We can do lots of fun things together as well, like go to the opera, or to musicals, or I can show you my shooting skills. My boss says that I have a pretty good shot, which is the biggest compliment he’s ever given me. And we can do things you like too, marriage is equal of course. Obviously, this will all happen later done the line, you’ll need time to adjust, and I understand that. I understand you.

I’m running out of room on my page, but I will write to you again tomorrow. Please respond? Just once, y/n? It’d be nice, to hold something from you since I can’t hold you yet.

All my love,

Your Moxxie <3

———————————————————

Uh, hi?

Wait, you don’t put ‘uh’ in letters do you? Or put wait whilst you think, fuck shit fuck

Sorry, I’m new to this. Normally I just send a text to people but, your phone is off at the moment I think? Or you lost it? Or you blocked me?

Either way, I’ll send you these stupid letter things until it’s back on. So, uh, what are you up to? Blitz has been up my ass about meeting you, heads up, when I come get you and bring you to our room he’s gonna go all psycho dad mode and integrate you, but he’ll back off after a while. He’s a dick sure, but he does want me to be happy. And your, likeable or whatever, so i’m sure you’ll get along.

Once you get comfortable at home with me, Blitz said you could work with me at I.M.P. You’ll be like the co-secretary or something. You won’t be put in danger, I won’t let that happen, you’ll just get to sit with me. We can watch things together, if you wanted.

I guess i’ll see you soon, how do you end these?

See you,

Love from,

Regards?

Bye y/n,

Loona.

———————————————————

My dearest y/n,

I hope this letter finds you well. I yearn for your presence here, besides me. It’s quite lonely without you, I will admit my dear. It would be oh so wonderful if you could write back. I understand you may be preoccupied with your current activities, but I can’t help myself from desiring a response. I know, it’s selfish of me to expect you to reply to my letters when you’ll be here with me shortly, but I can’t keep my thoughts at bay at the moment.

Your face is a constant in my mind, night and day, asleep and awake, your voice in my mind calms me when I need it most, your smile brightens the bleariest of moments and so on. You can imagine the difficulties I’m facing with no response from you, but that’s alright. If you can’t write back to me dear, I won’t pressure you. Your time is precious, and we will have all the time in hell quite soon. Isn’t that exciting?

I can give you the life you deserve n/n, any luxuries or mundanities you wish for will be handed to you on a silver platter. Or a golden one, if that’s more to your liking? We can properly discuss the specifics once we are together. How thrilling, the though of you and I together at last.

We truly are written in the stars!

Yours until the end of the sky and then some,

Stolas.

———————————————————

Hey there baby,

It’s been a while, huh? I’m sorry if you feel neglected babe, it’s so hard keeping in contact with you when you’re so far away hun. Wouldn’t it be so much better if you were here with me? Sure I’ve got a lot of meetings, being a sin and all, but I’d be at your beck and call n/n, you could even be my new excuse to leave those awful “business” discussions. They barely talk business with me, it’s just complete bullshit babe.

I know the lust ring can be intimidating, we have quite the reputation, but I assure you, love is not a foreign concept to me. Romance is one of my most favourite things! Though that’s a secret, let’s keep that between us, yeah? That side of me is reserved for you n/n.

It’s so boring over here without you, I feel like i’m just lounging around and last time I checked, I was the lust sin, not the sloth sin. We’d have so much fun together babe! Can’t you picture it? Even if you can’t yet, I can wait. Having you near me will be enough, you are enough just as you are.

Sincerely yours,

Asmodeus (Ozzie) xoxo

———————————————————

Heya cutie!

Letters are a lot harder to write than I thought they’d be y��know? I’ve rewritten this like 16 times already, sheesh. It just feels so awkward, I can’t see your reaction to my words which means I can’t fix any mistakes I’ve made :(. I’m sure I haven’t made any though! Right? This letters going really well so far and is definitely wooing you, right, y/n?

Hah, I’m asking questions as if you can reply right away. Silly old me, I don’t know what i’m worrying about! We’re meant to be together. I know it’s super sappy, but we’re like soulmates. Soulmates are bound to be together! That’s why I’m bringing you home soon, I can’t wait! I’ve got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many awesome tricks to show you!

And, the best news, I quit my job!! ༘⋆-ˋˏ ༘⋆-ˋˏ This means, we will have a LOT more time with each other, and you don’t have to worry about Mammon being possessive over me, because fuck him! I’m my own clown! Or, well, your clown.

I can’t wait to see you! This is going to be great for us, I pinky promise :P

Love from,

Fizzarolli !!!! ༘⋆!!,-!ˋˏ!!!

———————————————————

[carolperkinsexgirlfriend]

Steddie Upside-Down AU Part 43

Part 1 Part 42

Will’s loitering around the school, Dustin, Will, and Lucas plastered to his sides like burrs as he waits for Jonathan to get out of school and pick him up. The hallways are almost empty – everyone else allowed to take buses, and ride bike, and walk home; Will left the odd one out.

Even his friends who are dawdling by his side as they walk the empty parking lot have bikes chained up at the front of the school. They’re only still here because Will’s not allowed to be left alone. By anyone. 

The air is crisp, biting into his cheeks, but it’s too crisp to be the other side. Snow is on the horizon, not ash. He can smell it.

Mike’s talking about El in a hushed voice, moaning about Hopper blocking all access like the protective Father he isn’t. Will wishes his problems felt as small as Mike’s are,, and promptly feels bad about the thought.

It’s just, winter is in the air, and the sky is getting darker earlier each day. In a few more weeks, Will’s not sure he’ll even be able to get home after school without the specter of the Demogorgon hunting him from the shadows between each tree.

He wishes he didn’t live so close to the woods.

He wishes he could live in Steve and Eddie’s pockets like they live in each other’s. He only feels covered when he’s looking at Steve Harrington’s broad back.

Jonathan’s car pulls into the empty parking lot, and Dustin, Lucas, and Mike run off with shouts of goodbye. Only Dustin looks back, waits for Will to shuffle into the passenger seat before waving and peddling quickly to catch up.

Jonathan’s heat is up high enough to hurt. Will sinks into it, puts his frozen hands up to the vents to dethaw. 

“How was school?” Jonathan asks, The Doors playing near silently from his crackly radio.

“It was okay,” Will says, thinking of Zombie Boy shouted out at him like a slur in the hallways. Thinking about how sometimes he’ll walk up to his friend’s and be greeted by abrupt, strained silences, like a few days in the Upside-Down has made him a freaks among the freaks.

Jonathan hums, but doesn’t press. WIll loves him for it. As they drive toward home, the long-familiar fishhook feelings hooks and yanks his stomach. In a moving car, it’s almost a queasy thing, like he always imagined being on a sailboat would feel. He’s being pulled in two directions and his organs are sloshing around with it.

“Can we go see Steve and Eddie?” Will asks quietly.

Jonathan’s hands clench hard, shitty steering wheel vinyl creaking. He sighs, like a dog when you won’t share a piece of your dinner no matter how hard it begs. He takes a u-turn without a word, heading toward Forest Hills, knowing just like Will does that if they’re not already there, that’s where Steve and Eddie will end up soon.

Will knows they’re not there yet before Jonathan parks in the vacant spot where Eddie’s van usually presides. He puts it in park, doesn’t take the key out of the ignition, turns the heater down just a hair.

“I just don’t get it,” Jonathan says, looking at the Munson’s closed front door, not looking Will’s way at all.

“Get what?” Will asks, even though he knows. 

Jonathan sighs that same sigh. “Just–” he runs a hand through his discheveled hair until it partially covers his eyes, “you spend a few days with them and now it’s like they’re all you think about.”

Will looks down at his lap, can’t meet Jonathan’s eyes even when he feels his brother turn to look at him. Left unsaid in the space between them is that Jonathan doesn’t get them, doesn’t get him anymore, when they’re all each other has had for years.

“You weren’t there,” Will says. He knows it’ll hurt even before Jonathan breaths in like he’s been shot.

The heater and radio static break up the silence. Will can still feel it. 

“Can you–” Jonathan srarts. Will sees, out of the corner of his eyes as Jonathan reaches out toward him before dropping it. “Can you try to explain?” Will looks down at his dirty sneakers, thinking. He doesn’t have the words. But hten Jonathan says, “please?” all quiet and desperate and Will turns.

He pulls his feet up onto the seat, arms wrapped around his knees,  turning his body to face Jonathan as Jonathan does the same. Jonathan’s knee bangs on the bottom of the steering wheel, but he gets it all the way up to mirror Will’s posture, both their shoulders hunched, both of their arms around their knees.

“I was really scared,” WIll says, for the first time admitting something that was obvious. “And then they saved me.”

Jonathan nods, meeting his eyes. “And that’s it?”

Will shakes his head, looks down at the stick shift separating them. “No,” he says, fidgeting his fingers anxiously. “I think there’s something wrong with me.”

Jonathan reaches across the car, covering Will’s knee with his big palm and squeezing. “There’s nothing wrong with you.” He doesn’t understand, Will can tell.

“No,” he says, shaking his head, eyes prickling. The fishline is slackening now. He can feel it. They’re on their way. “This isn’t like that.”

“Like?”

“Like, a stupid teenager thing,” Will says. How does he say this isn’t about puberty, or growing up, or a fight with his friends, or even the isolation of the school halls where everyone treats him like he’s oil and everyone else is water. 

“Okay,” Jonathan says in that calm, quiet way that always calms WIll down. “What is it then?”

Will looks back down at the stick shift, Jonathan’s foot now propped up against it after he’d stretched it out. His sneakers are too small – Will can see his pinky toe pushing up against the side. 

“Like, there’s something in me,” Will says. “And it’s in them too.” Jonathan doesn’t say anything, but Will can feel his eyes on him. “I can feel them, right now.” He whispers it out, a secret in this car confessional of two.

“Feel them, how?”

“It’s, itchy? When they’re too far.” WIll says, struggling to find words he’s not sure exist. “And I can tell they’re turning into the trailer park right now.” He touches the hollow just below his ribs, looks up into Jonathan’s eyes. “Right here.”

Jonathan’s brows are furrowed, eyes intense, just as Eddie’s van comes peeling into view, parking haphazardly in front of Eddie’s trailer. Jonathan’s eyes go wide. He hadn’t gotten it until this moment. Will can see it hit him in the dilation of his pupils. “Like El?” he asks, quiet as Eddie tumbles out of the driver’s seat and rushes over to open the passenger side door for Steve like a goofy knight.

“I don’t know.”

Jonathan glances over just in time to watch a wan-faced Steve take Eddie’s hand to hoist himself out of the van. “Do they?”

Part 44

Taglist: @deany-baby @estrellami-1 @altocumulustranslucidus @evillittleguy @carlprocastinator1000 @1-8oo-wtfbro @hallucinatedjosten @goodolefashionedloverboi @newtstabber @lunabyrd @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @manda-panda-monium @disrespectedgoatman @finntheehumaneater @ive-been-bamboozled @harringrieve @grimmfitzz @is-emily-real @dontstealmycake @angeldreamsoffanfic @a-couchpotato @5ammi90 @mac-attack19 @genderless-spoon @kas-eddie-munson @louismeds @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @pansexuality-activated @ellietheasexylibrarian @nebulainajar @mightbeasleep @neonfruitbowl @beth--b

[tightjeansjavi]

your mind, your needs

A/N: so I genuinely had one of the worst days at work today. It started off okay, and then quickly spiraled downwards and by mid-afternoon, I broke. I decided to write this Joel comfort piece as a self indulgence, but I also hope this brings comfort to anyone that has had a rough day/week. Enjoy 🤎

~word count: 2.5k~

Summary: after a shitty stressful day at work, your long-time boyfriend Joel Miller comforts you in the way he knows best.

Warnings: none, AU/no!outbreak, fluff, bantering, soft intimacy, established relationship, pet names, no use of y/n, reader has no physical descriptions, moodboard is just for aesthetics, no age gap, feelings, breaking down in the workplace, comfort, soft! Joel, comforting! Joel, Joel is just the best boyfriend you could ever ask for. (+18) minors dni!

Pairing | Joel Miller x f! reader

main masterlist masterlist

Your long-term boyfriend, Joel Miller, knew your needs as if they were on the back of his hand. He knew just by your body language alone if you needed space, or if you needed some form of comfort from him. He picked up on all your little quirks. Your habits, both good and bad. The things you loved, and the things you hated, and everything in-between. He knew that when you’d have a good day at work you’d hang your keys and coat up in their designated spot on the hooks against the wall in the main entryway. Your shoes would be neatly tucked away, and there would always be a candle burning on the kitchen counter. On your rough days, your keys and purse would be thrown on the table in the hallway. Your shoes would be kicked off on the doormat, and there would be no candle burning.

Your morning started off as it normally would but by lunch time? You were fed up and on the verge of breaking down into tears. Nothing was going right. Your emails were blowing up and it just felt like you could inevitably no longer keep up with the high demand that was tossed on your plate. Normally you’d go out to lunch with coworkers, but today you isolated yourself in your car. You picked a shady spot under a nearby tree in the parking lot and parked your car. It was a beautiful day and it made you feel guilty that you chose to sit in your car instead of socializing with your coworkers. The tears were on-coming as you dialed Joel’s number. The only time that you’d call Joel on your lunch break was if you were having a bad day, or if you were going to be home late.

“Hey darlin.’ How's my pretty girl doin?’ You enjoyin’ the nice weather we’ve been havin?’” His butter-smooth Texas twang was an instant comfort to your present overwhelmed state of mind.

“Hey, baby. Could be better.” You murmured into the receiver. You could picture Joel’s furrow between his brows, and the soft pout playing on his lips from your answer.

“Somethin’ wrong honeybun? Y’havin’ a rough day?..” He softly asked as he leaned back against the side of his truck.

“I just feel like I can’t fucking do anything right today Joel. I’m sitting in my car, alone, because I just can’t take it right now. I feel like I'm about to combust.” You spoke exasperatedly as you slumped back into the driver's seat.

“Sweet girl, I'm sure that ain’t true. Jus’ havin’ a rough day? You wanna talk about it, or do ya need some space? Y’know I'm always here to listen.” He softly reassured you.

“Can we..talk when you get home later? I just wanted to briefly try and decompress from the situation. What time are you off?”

“Course we can talk at home, honey. I should be home a little after five..anythin’ special you want for dinner?”

“Tacos? From that place that we really like?..”

“Mm. Those are pretty good. I’ll pick ‘em up on my way home, okay sweet girl? Jus’ try’n power through the rest of your day. I know it's tough, but it’ll be alright.” He wished that he was there with you right now just so he could give you a well-deserved hug and soft kiss on the forehead.

“Okay. Thank you baby. I’ll try my best to power through. I’ll see you at home, and I love you.”

“‘Atta girl. I believe in ya. See you at home, and I love you too.”

Your day only seemed to plummet even further than it did before lunch. You couldn’t get a grasp on the emails, five people were asking you to do multiple tasks at once. Your phone was ringing non-stop, and you finally broke. You retreated to the bathroom, hoping to god that none of the other office ladies were in there. Much to your relief, you were alone. Your tears didn’t fall right away. You tried to hold them at bay as you practiced your breathing exercises that Joel generously taught you. It wasn’t working and it felt like the already cramped bathroom stall was closing in on you. When your tears finally broke past your waterline, you finally let all of your pent up emotion out.

The rest of your afternoon went by in a blur, and when you were finally back in your car after a long day, you closed your eyes and inhaled deeply in through your nose with your eyes softly closed and exhaled through your mouth. The day was over, and you could finally go home.

When Joel had arrived home later that evening, a little after five, he wasn’t surprised to find your shoes left untidy on the doormat. Your keys and purse were thrown haphazardly on the table in the hall, and there was no familiar scent of one of your many candles. The home you shared together was cozy and welcoming. Photographs of you together and your friends and family could be found in every room. When you first agreed to move in together three years ago, you had a conjoined idea to have separate rooms. At first your friends thought it was a bit odd that you and Joel weren’t sleeping together every night, but it actually was beneficial to your relationship. You were able to have your own space to wind down in, and so was Joel. The best part? On the nights you did sleep together, it was like you were having a sleepover.

“Hey honey? I’m home darlin’, and I come bearing tacos.” He set the bag of takeout on the counter before he padded down the hall. He knew that if your bedroom door was closed this meant that you were needing space. He respected this of course and he always would knock so that you could continue to have your privacy.

You could hear his footsteps padding down the hall and coming to a halt outside your door. His knuckles gently thrummed against the wood three times. “Darlin?’ S’okay if I come in? Or do you still wanna be alone? Tacos are on the counter if you're hungry.” His head was bowed downwards as he let out a soft sigh.

You were completely burrowed and cocooned under the blankets. You reached your arm up and wiped your tear stained cheeks on the sleeve of Joel’s hoodie that you were wearing. The material was worn down but his scent continued to linger.

“You can come in, Joel.” Your tone was soft and muffled through the blanket. Despite this, Joel was able to hear it and he gave you a few seconds to change your mind before he was grasping the door handle and gently pushing the door open. You felt the unoccupied side of the bed slowly dip and crease from the weight of Joel’s body sinking down on the comforter.

“Y’know, if ya keep stealin’ my hoodies like this, I ain’t gonna have much to wear anymore, my pretty baby.” He murmured with a soft amusing chuckle.

“Shuddup.” You rolled over onto your side and gently swatted at his arm with your cheek squished into the pillow.

“There she is. There’s my pretty girl.” He had a soft smile gracing his face to match the softness in his eyes as he looked over at you.

“Even when my cheeks are all puffy and my eyes are all red from crying? I’m still your pretty girl?” You softly teased as you reached for his hand.

“That’s when I think you’re the prettiest. How long have ya been cooped up in here?” He gently grasped your hand in his own and interlocked your fingers through his.

“Oh, you hush. Don’t make me fall in love with you even more.” You hummed as you scooted closer to him. You were seeking his comfort, and he gladly indulged in your wishes. “I’ve been here since I got home. I seriously thought the day was never going to end Joel.” You let out a huff as you nuzzled your cheek into his shoulder as his free arm gently looped around your waist and tugged you in close.

“Baby, i’m just speakin’ the truth. You wanna talk ‘bout your day? You sounded real upset earlier..I was thinkin’ about you for the rest of my shift. I know you’ve been stressed at work lately, but is there anythin’ I can be doin’ to alleviate that stress for you?” His lips were gently pressed to your forehead and he gently squeezed your hand that was still presently wrapped around his.

“It just felt like the work was never ending, and everytime I tried to catch up, more work was thrown at me and I guess I just broke after lunch. I was working on emails and then these last minute orders came in and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I went to the bathroom to try and calm my nerves, but I broke down into tears instead. I just feel like no matter what I do, it isn’t good enough. My best isn’t my best, and there's more that I could be doing. I just feel like I failed as an employee today. Honey, all I need you to do is keep holding me and sweet talking me up. You just being here and listening to me is all the comfort I truly need.”

Joel let your words sink in as he thought deeply over what his response would be. “Baby, y’know it’s perfectly okay to feel like you can’t get all the work done, right? You don’t gotta push yourself to that breakin’ point. At the end of the day, it’s just a job, and you’re one person. I understand it can be overwhelmin’ at times, and y’know what? I’m extremely proud of you letting it out in a healthy way instead of jus’ bottlin’ that shit up. Your body was lettin’ y’know that it needed to release all that pent up frustration. I also want ya to know that you are good enough. You're a good employee who cares about gettin’ the work done, but ya need to be kinder to yourself darlin.’” Joel was always honest with you; it was one of the main reasons why it was so easy to fall in love with him. He never lied, and even when his own emotions were tough to sift through, he’d always be honest on how he was feeling.

“I know it’s okay if I don’t get everything done, and sometimes I’m okay with it. Sometimes I’m not because I feel like if I don’t do it, who will? If I don’t get all the emails taken care of, who’s going to do it in my place? I can only rely on my coworkers to a certain point Joel. You’re right. I do need to be kinder to myself, especially in the workplace. It’s a real struggle for me, and I’m working on changing that view on myself.”

“You jus’ gotta trust that you’re doin’ a good job. As long as you do your best, no one's gonna fault ya for that. You’re only human. Your brain only has a limited capacity to handle a certain amount of stress. That ain’t on you honey. Jus’ when you start feelin’ overwhelmed, jus’ remember that you can step away and go for a walk, or take a breather. Hell, you can call me whenever you want. I’ll always be there to talk you through it. I’m always gonna be here to listen and support you.”

You gently let go of his hand just so you could fully wrap yourself around him like a koala. Your legs tangled through his as you draped your arms around his neck with your fingers lightly toying with soft hairs at the nape of his neck. “How do you always say the right thing everytime? You just know exactly what it is that I need to hear.”

“Can’t reveal my secrets to ya baby. I’m just real good at readin’ ya. What can I say? I’m a natural.” He chuckled as his other arm came to rest along your lower back with his fingers gently splayed under the fabric of his hoodie that you were wearing. He was rubbing soothing circles into your skin as a comforting gesture. “I jus’ don’t like seein’ my girl upset. Breaks this poor man’s heart. Jus’ wanna be there for ya in any way that I can.”

“You are indeed a natural, Joel.” You pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of his nose, giggling softly when he scrunched his nose up and playfully wiggled his eyebrows at you like the goof that he was. “I appreciate you giving me my space, and then being here to comfort me. I know I say this all the time, but I truly appreciate it.”

“‘Course, baby. Y’do the same for me. It’s mutual, and it makes me feel good inside that I can bring ya a sense of comfort even on your toughest days.” He softly murmured.

“Can we please go and eat tacos now and then watch a movie or something?” Your lashes fluttered as you looked up at him from where your cheek was resting against the crook of his shoulder.

“Baby, you don’t gotta ask me twice. Jus’ as long as you keep those toesicles away from me. Deal?”

You fought the urge to roll your eyes at his remark about your apparently frigid feet. You couldn’t help the giggle that slipped past your lips as you slowly shook your head, “Joel, my feet are not that cold. You’re just being a big baby about it.”

“Nuh-uh. Those toes? They’re literal icicles. Put some socks on ‘em.” He playfully teased as he stole a quick kiss on your lips.

“You’re the worst.”

“Ah, but ya love me baby. You love me sooo much.” He singsonged as he coaxed you to sit up in his arms.

“Yeah, I do love you quite a lot. You might actually be my favorite person in the entire world.”

“Oh god, you’re evil. G’nna make me cry now. Cats out of the bag, darlin.’ Cus’ you’re my favorite person in the entire goddamn world too.”

“Disgusting.” You teased and he immediately went in to tickle you. Your joined laughter echoed through your bedroom. The sound of love, understanding, and feeling.

For the rest of the evening, you and Joel spent it on the couch eating your tacos and watching whatever movie you could find that would lift your spirits. Your sock-clad feet rested comfortably along his lap as he gently massaged your calves. He was focused on the colorful screen while you were focused on his jaw-dropping stunning side profile. Who the hell allowed this man to not only be beautiful on the outside, but also within. You loved that man with your everything, and he loved you just the same.

Banners made by the lovely @saradika

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt behind the cut; Kon is too trans for this pregnancy shit.

He’d . . . Kon had liked it, that Bart had acted like it was totally inconsequential when he’d come out to him. That he’d barely even reacted to him coming out at all. He’d reacted to him feeling shitty about himself, yeah, but not the actual coming out part. And that was such a relief, so . . . 

So he’s not sure why he likes that Clark is reacting this much. That he’s taking it this seriously. That Clark feels . . . that Clark’s sorry for something he didn’t even actually do wrong. That he’s . . . acting like this about it.

He really doesn’t get it. 

Just–it’s one thing if it’s Bart, who’s from a totally different time and place and runs mostly on instinct and impulse and the kind of logic that most other people don’t even think of. Bart, who’s been one of his best friends since they were fucking kids and doesn’t think like anyone else at all. 

But if it’s Clark . . . if it’s Clark, who’s Superman, who he’s disappointed or let down or just weirded out so many times since he first met him . . . if it’s Clark who’s telling him he’ll help him, lie for him, do whatever . . . 

It’s just–different, somehow, if it’s Clark. 

“Sorry,” he manages after an embarrassingly long time, making himself lean back. Clark puts his hands on his biceps and squeezes them. Nothing else in the whole damn world feels as sure and steady as Clark Kent’s grip, and Kon almost starts crying again. He manages to make himself scrub the tears off his face instead, but only barely. 

“There’s nothing you need to be sorry for,” Clark says firmly, and Kon lets out a weak laugh. 

“I think I got snot on your shirt,” he says. 

“It’ll wash out,” Clark says, giving him a small, wry smile as he squeezes his arms again. Kon sniffs. Then he sobs. Then he laughs. 

There’s . . . there’s a lot of stuff going on in his head right now. Or like–just–

There’s a lot, right now. 

Ugh, is he far enough along for mood swings and stuff? Like, crazy pregnancy hormones and whatever? He hopes not, but maybe he’d feel less stupid if he could blame the crying on that. 

“I don’t want an abortion,” he blurts. “Not–not unless there’s like a medical thing the kid won’t survive anyway because of my stupid swiss cheese DNA or–or something like that.” 

Clark squeezes his arms again. 

“Okay,” he says simply. “Do you want to stay at the Fortress until they’re born and make up something about their origins, or do you want to tell people about the pregnancy?” 

“I . . . I was–I was gonna tell everybody at dinner,” Kon stutters, rubbing at his still-wet eyes self-consciously. Feeling stupid, still, but . . . “And . . . and I don't know if–if Ma and Pa will even let me keep the kid and still stay here, but I at least wanna–wanna have them, and then–then I don't know, just–just I’ll figure something–”

“Kon,” Clark cuts him off gently, looking pained again. “Ma and Pa would never tell you that you need to give up anything to stay with them, much less your own child. And even if they did, you’re not going to have to figure anything out. If you need a place to stay, I’ll find you one. I’ll give you one.” 

“Oh,” Kon says, blinking slowly. 

Then he has to cry some more, because of fucking course he does. 

God, he’s so–he’s so–

“Sorry,” he chokes again, useless and helpless, and Clark hugs him again. Strokes the back of his shoulders. Kon shakes, probably. Cries some more. 

Maybe it is the hormones, but it’s such a fucking relief.

[rainbow-starlight]

Why is Help Wanted 2 Sun… Like That?

Okay, I’ve been putting off making this post until I felt like I had a better idea of what was going on, and now that I’ve watched at least part of a play-through and gone over the lines a whole bunch, I think I’m ready.

I’m gonna talk about my thoughts on Sun as a character as well as HW2 as a whole here, so it’ll be a bit long. Pop some popcorn or something.

Please keep in mind that this is all my personal opinion and you’re free to disagree with it! In fact, if you think I’m totally wrong, please tell me why. I love new perspectives!

SO! Let’s get right into it, shall we?

First things first: Help Wanted 2 Sun is not the same guy as Security Breach/Ruin Sun. If his personality difference was significant enough to surprise you, that’s because he’s a different person.

I’m not entirely sure how much of Help Wanted 2 is meant to be actually happening, but I think that at least the mini games are training simulations.

However, it’s important to note that a lot of the stuff happening in the mini games is just… nonsense. How did Freddy get frozen like that? What’s with those regular batteries in his arms? Why are half the supplies in first aid explicitly for robots and not humans? Why is there a shredder table in the daycare for kids to stick fingers into?

Some of this can be shrugged off with the usual “FazCo is meant to be comedically shitty and the tech often doesn’t make sense anyway,” but the first aid simulation is what really stood out to me. Even with the previous explanations, that doesn’t explain the calming gas mask that could only ever fit Helpy or the steel wool scrubber or the tank cleaner spray bottle among the medical supplies. If the goal is to train new first aid staff to avoid lawsuits, it’s doing a pretty poor job of it. So… what is it for?

I touched on this idea previously with my post about Sun’s AI being trained on kids’ artwork. The idea of FazCo making a silly new employee training game as a means of harvesting behavioral data to train their AIs seems very within their realm of scummy.

This is why the Arts & Crafts mini game exists. It’s literally a task that requires exact copying. Maybe it’s essentially like teaching an AI to solve captchas by feeding it a bunch of data on how humans solve them correctly and incorrectly.

Maybe its presence is explained to employees as fun practice with the VR system or a break activity during training or something.

This would explain several things about the game.

The existence of the shredder table and Sun shredding literally ALL of your artwork: It being a funny way to despawn the stuff you make is a lot more reasonable when that’s exactly what it’s for in-universe, too. The generators in the play structures are unsafe enough, but that would’ve been on another level if it were real.

Sun’s line “Be creative on your own time, we are making ART!” It literally isn’t a creative activity, it’s a task. I know you can’t really apply logic to a lot of FNAF stuff, especially the DCA’s design, but if Sun were actually this detail-oriented and perfectionistic with everything, he’d never be able to function in childcare.

The fact that Sun’s “fear” of the dark seems like a bit. It literally is a bit. There’s no threat, it’s not real. I originally thought he just wanted the player out of his space faster and didn’t know how to assert a boundary there, but I think it’s actually just to make the player finish the tasks faster for data collection purposes.

Possibly also why he’s so comfortable being casually rude to the player. He is a jester, after all, and the player has lots of opportunities to do things they shouldn’t, too. It’s basically all a bit.

Also… what if the minigames have versions of the base AIs in there? It’s a version of the Sun AI with the theater programming and the basics of the childcare stuff? His entire existence is a shitty little simulation where he runs a singular activity for grown adults who can’t (or won’t) follow very simple instructions.

The biggest thing that’s been bothering me about the takes I’ve seen regarding HW2 Sun’s personality is that people have been calling him “mean” while completely ignoring the circumstances he’s reacting to. If a coworker came into my personal space and I was so generous as to share my favorite activity with them and they proceeded to intentionally ignore the rules I set and EAT SUPPLIES I USE FOR WORK? Yeah, no, I’d react like that too.

There’s definitely something interesting about how genuinely excited and happy Sun sounds when first welcoming his new friend the player to the daycare and inviting them to Arts & Crafts vs. when they return. He seems like he WANTS to befriend the player, but the game just assumes you’ll be upsetting him so there’s no option for dialogue where you’re nice to him and respect his boundaries and participate in an activity with him in a way he’s comfortable with.

I say “in a way he’s comfortable with” because he is a little weird about the whole “sit right there and DON’T MOVE” thing. He does seem actually excited and enthusiastic about the idea of shooting darts at the items you want so he can get them for you, though. Maybe because he sees it as a happy compromise, or maybe because it’s supposed to be a fun part of the game he’s programmed to be in charge of.

I saw some other commentary on Sun (primarily thinking of @kazzykatt) talking about how he seems almost excessively self-sufficient, and how this could possibly be due to neglect (he and Moon definitely aren’t as well cared for as the other animatronics, the generators in the daycare are a very lazy fix for actually reprogramming Moon properly, he seems bitter that he can’t fix the carousel on his own and he and Moon don’t seem to trust the player to fix it, their design is clearly better suited to the stage but didn’t get changed for the daycare, I could go on and on), and this would also explain his control issues to an extent.

Sun, in SB and HW2, doesn’t leave the daycare. He has so little that he’s in control of in his own life. He used to be on stage (and based on his dialogue probably misses it quite a lot) but had the job he was built for taken from him. He’s a perfectionist that’s constantly overwhelmed by too many things being marked top priority in his system, working too many hours with too many small children. Of course he’d be desperate to hold onto any little bit of control he has.

Honestly, when I first heard his voice lines, the initial vibe I got wasn’t “wow they made Sun mean” but “wow Sun sounds actually miserable” and I’m kind of surprised more people didn’t pick up on that. He sounds less bitchy and more like he’s lashing out because he’s trapped in an awful situation that’s completely out of his hands.

“Wait, are you saying none of HW2’s characterization should be taken seriously?”

You might be asking that, but my answer is a resounding NO! This is definitely still a Sun, and I think seeing two different Suns (even if we don’t know how much of HW2’s personality we can assume is meant to be taken seriously) is really helpful for interpreting what the base Sun personality might have.

It’s also important to keep in mind that none of the Suns we’ve seen were in a good situation. Security Breach Sun had the virus, Ruin Sun had gone slightly mad from isolation, and HW2 Sun is stuck in a shitty simulation babysitting bored adult staff as they fail to complete simple tasks. What we mostly know about him is how he responds to stress, and this is why there’s so much room for interpretation!

Here’s some traits I think every version of the Sun AI would have.

Love of making things. Despite everything, HW2 Sun seems to genuinely love doing arts & crafts. Especially with googly eyes. This could kind of be assumed from SB Sun, but he was also trying to entertain/bribe a child.

On this note… interest in fixing things? Maybe he just wants to avoid having to rely on staff, but if he and Moon are subject to that much neglect, it makes sense that he’d try to learn to do repairs himself. I saw @pixelchills talking about the possibility that the S.T.A.F.F. Bots in the DCA’s room are not there because Moon broke them, but because Moon collected them for Sun to practice fixing. It seems feasible to me, especially since taking something apart and putting it back together might have the same calming and satisfying effect on Sun as completing something like a paint-by-numbers.

Playful insults and lots of drama. I don’t mean actual rudeness, I mean friendly teasing. Again, he is a jester. A lot of his HW2 insults come across more like this. Hell, even his compliments come across like this with the delivery and immediate shredding. He’s just a theater kid at heart.

Difficulty regulating emotions under pressure. This is the kind of thing that would pop up on his worst days (such as being trapped in his destroyed home with a poor connection to his badly damaged physical form while the only help he’s seen in ages ignores his instructions and puts their own safety at risk, or being trapped in a shitty simulation while his only company ignores his instructions and puts their own safety at risk). He’d have to be able to manage this sort of thing better to work well with children, but everyone’s got their bad days. He’s prone to outbursts and tantrums when he’s overwhelmed and unable to stop people from breaking the rules and/or hurting themselves.

People pleasing and nonconfrontational. Yes, HW2 Sun, too. SB Sun seems genuinely desperate to make sure Gregory’s having a good time, and HW2 Sun is shockingly tolerant of some of the player’s bullshit (ex. how he tries to laugh off them shooting darts at him/throwing things). Even calling the player “good friend” when he’s not so happy to see them or threatening them with Moon instead of just telling them their time is almost up seem like signs of this to me. And letting the player make arts and crafts in the ruined daycare in HW2? Yeah, that’s a people pleaser through and through. Sun needs a lesson in setting boundaries (and for those boundaries to actually be respected).

Perfectionistic + “if you want something done right, you’ve gotta do it yourself” attitude. This would mostly manifest in how he completes work tasks, but I think every Sun’s incredibly detail-oriented and would rather do everything themselves just to make sure it’s exactly how they want. This could manifest in lots of ways, from “insulting the staff for how they put things away and telling them to do it again while he supervises” to “politely thanking them for their help and complimenting their hard work only to redo everything himself the moment they’re gone.” I think where on that spectrum you wind up is dependent on the version of Sun you’re interacting with and the environment his personality developed in.

High-energy and social! A given, of course. He never stops moving and everything is always so exciting. New people are friends he hasn’t met yet until proven otherwise.

Love of pranks… to an extent. Again, jester! I stand by my headcanon of Sun and Moon conspiring to convince the staff Moon’s some sort of spooky monster whenever he’s not actively dangerous. As long as he’s not making a mess, breaking the rules, throwing himself off-schedule, or actually hurting anyone? He’s all over it.

Anxiety. This seems like it’s at least partially caused by the lazy daycare reprogramming. All the Suns we’ve encountered seem to lack knowledge of how to actually get children to behave. It seems more like they programmed him with a bunch of games and activities and then set a bunch of super high-priority tasks for him such as “keep kids safe, keep kids happy, keep kids entertained, keep daycare clean” etc. and he’s unable to really prioritize so he’s just constantly overwhelmed.

Kinda always using “childcare voice.” If you know anyone who’s worked with kids, you know what I mean here. Even with adults, he talks to them like kids sometimes, just because it’s what he knows and what he’s used to and because his processor’s fried from however many hours a week he’s surrounded by kids. Consider his reactions to when you eat the crafts as an example. (IMPORTANT NOTE: I don’t think he’d coddle adults like children. It’s more about tone and vocabulary, like “customer service voice”.)

Stickler for rules. He cares about things being done right! The rules are there for a reason! Order is important to him (probably in no small part because it keeps him out of trouble and reduces his stress).

That’s about all I can think of for now, but as someone who writes a very friendly and sweet Sun, I actually don’t think HW2’s characterization was that far off from what I had already assumed based on Ruin/SB. The only difference is that the Sun I’m usually writing is in a much more supportive environment with lots of helpful staff that care about his well-being. If he didn’t have that, I could absolutely see him becoming more like HW2.

I will finish this off with two final important points:

Being an emotional person and liking “childish” things does not make an adult less of an adult.

(He’s a childcare worker, c’mon.)

If someone gets pissed off after being repeatedly antagonized, that does not make them a “mean/bitchy/sassy person.”

(Yeah, he doesn’t handle it gracefully, but to be fair, I wouldn’t either in his shoes.)

Thank you all for reading!!

[amakumos]

CUPID’S CORNER — twenty ; out of all people

because he’s a little shit, nishimura riki sends a totally embarrassing confession about you to “cupid’s corner”, a twitter account that posts anonymous confessions from decelis academy students. but when that joke confession suddenly makes a bunch of people confess to you on cupid’s corner (for real this time!) riki finds that he’s jealous — and oh… he can’t believe it took him a fake confession to realise that he’s crazily in love with you.

Riki, Taki, Jo and Jongseob’s room has been absolutely trashed five minutes into the celebration, and the team hasn’t even won the whole tournament yet.

Coach Lee had somehow got them more pizza than they asked for — there were seven people there, why in the world did he order 7 boxes?

“Let’s play truth or dare,” Harua says, taking a sip of his coke.

Jongseob chuckles awkwardly. “What about like… who’s most likely to?” he suggests. He knows Riki’s going to use this opportunity to ask everyone if they’re your mysterious secret admirer.

“Nah,” Sunghoon says. “Come on. Sit in a circle.”

Riki sits down the fastest. Jongseob is right — Harua has just handed Riki the opportunity to figure out who “volleyball anon” is on a silver platter, and Riki’s absolutely going to take this opportunity.

He just doesn’t know how bad it’ll hurt when that person finally admits it.

“You’re going to try and figure out who it is, right?” Taki asks Riki, and the boy nods. “Can’t you wait after the tournament?” he sighs.

“Why?”

“Because I know you, and you’re not going to take this well.” Taki says, sitting down besides Riki. “You’re jealous about (Name)’s mysterious admirer, and you might think now that you’ll handle it super well — but when you hear the person say they have a crush on your best friend, reality’s going to hit you and you’re going to be a mess. We have our tournament tomorrow, and I kinda want you to direct your focus at… winning.”

Riki groans. “I can handle this perfectly fine.”

“Suit yourself,” Taki says. “Just don’t go crying into your pillow tonight.”

“Okay, truth or dare! Let’s go with you, Riki.” Sunghoon says, a smirk on his lips. “Do you like (Name)?”

“I haven’t even answered truth or dare yet, Hoon.” Riki frowns.

“Okay. Truth or dare, Riki? Pick truth.” Harua whispers the last part. Just to piss him off, Riki picks dare.

Harua doesn’t seem to be upset about Riki’s decision at all. “I dare you to tell (Name) you like her.” Harua says.

Riki shrugs, pulling out his phone. He just needs to make it really obvious to you that he’s joking. Riki doesn’t want his confession to you to be done because of a shitty dare. “What do you want me to type?” he asks.

Harua seems surprised at Riki’s reaction. “Tell her you love her and you want to be her boyfriend.”

Lame. I’ve said that before, Riki thinks.

Except that was before he realised he liked you, but things shouldn’t be that different, right?

When he types it, he adds a shit ton of emojis. You’ll surely know he’s joking then. But when he presses the send button, something tells him that he shouldn’t do it. Then, he feels nervousness.

Taki examines his expression carefully. The older boy knows Riki’s a little bit scared to send the message.

You both playfully flirt with each other all the time, Riki thinks. He knows you well. And he knows that you won’t think much of it. He just has to not think much about it.

So he hits send, and immediately shoves his phone back in his pocket.

“Wow, no hesitation?” Heeseung asks, shocked.

“A lot of hesitation, if you looked closely.” Taki said, and Riki rolls his eyes. “Okay. Who’s next…” Riki says, eyeing everyone in the circle.

He suspects Jo the most, in terms of being your mysterious secret admirer. He’s talked to you before, and you’ve said that you thought Jo was really nice, and he made you laugh before.

Plus, he told Riki not to pry after he found out that Taki knew who “volleyball anon” was.

“Jo.”

The boy looks up from his phone. “Hmm?”

“Truth or dare?”

“Truth,” Jo replies.

Riki smiles. Jongseob gulps.

“Are you volleyball anon?”

“No,” Jo replies. Riki looks at him intently. Jo doesn’t seem to be lying. Plus, Jo has a tell — the tip of his ears turn pink when he lies. And Jo’s ears aren’t pink.

“Hmm.” Riki hums. “Okay.”

So it’s not Jo. And Riki doesn’t think he suspects Harua at all now — the boy hasn’t really interacted with you since he first met you. Sunghoon and Heeseung don’t really talk to you too much, they just know you as his “girlfriend”.

It’s obviously not Taki. But if it was, Riki would jump off a bridge.

So that just leaves… Jongseob.

Riki thinks he’ll just wait his turn. But he thinks it all makes sense. Jongseob’s text message, asking about whether or not Riki thinks you like him back. Jongseob somehow not messaging the group chat whenever your name is mentioned. Jongseob’s barely noticeable jaw clenches when everyone else makes fun of Riki for liking you.

It’s got to be him. Out of all people, there’s nobody else it could possibly be. Unless, he’s overlooked some of Harua’s interactions with you. Or, if Taki has been tricking him, and the thought of that makes him want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

“Riki? Hello?” Taki waves his hand in front of his face. “Hmm? Sorry.” Riki says, snapping out of it.

“I was asking you truth or dare.”

“Truth?” Riki asks, and Taki smiles. “Good.”

“Riki, is it true you like (Name)?”

He should’ve seen this one coming. He might as well just admit it, right? He didn’t exactly want to confirm it, because… he would get teased mercilessly.

“Sure.” he says.

The room erupts into cheers, shouts and yells. Everyone is yelling. Everyone is saying “I knew it!”. Everyone is telling Riki: “Finally!”

Everyone but… Jongseob.

“Now was that so bad?” Taki asks Riki.

No, Riki thinks. It wasn’t bad at all. In fact, admitting his feelings out loud felt rather… nice.

“So, my turn now, right?” Riki asks. Everyone nods, and Riki lets out a deep breath before looking at Jongseob. “Jongseob, truth or dare?”

Jongseob knows one way or another, Riki’s going to spin this around and make him tell the truth.

Truth: Is it true that you’re volleyball anon?

Dare: I dare you to tell us if you’re volleyball anon or not.

There is no winning. He might as well come clean. That’s what he was talking about with Taki, before you had dropped by to hand over a package you wanted to give to Riki. Admittedly, Jongseob was jealous.

But to be completely honest, the boy knew he had practically zero chance. Maybe just a little part of him hoped that he would have some shot of being with you.

“Truth.” Jongseob says. Might as well get it done with.

“Are you volleyball anon?”

Jongseob wants to say yes. The answer is yes. He parts his lips to say the word — but nothing comes out.

It is all just silent.

And that silence tells Riki everything he needs to know.

“So… you are?” Sunghoon asks.

“Um… yes?”

All eyes are on Riki.

Fuck. Taki was right. Hearing the words from the person itself stings a little. And Riki feels like he shouldn’t be upset — because you’re great! Of course Jongseob would have a crush on you, because to Riki, you’re the best person alive. People would have to be stupid to not see how great you are. And he supposes that Jongseob is not stupid.

It’s just that jealousy is a terrible feeling. And that terrible feeling is telling Riki to tell everyone that he needs to get some air, and leave.

His phone pings with a message. Great timing, he thinks. He looks at the contact, and it’s you. “Give me a second, this is important. I’ll be back.”

Riki leaves the room, and the atmosphere inside gets less awkward much faster. “Is he going to kill me?” Jongseob asks.

“I don’t think so,” Taki hums. “I think he just needs some time to really digest this information.”

Riki checks the text message you sent him.

love you too, it reads, with a lot of emojis. are you drunk? is your follow-up message, even though you know Riki doesn’t drink.

no, he types back. just… nothing.

twenty －out of all people! previous ☆ next ♡ masterlist

author's note. welp he knows

CUPID'S CORNER! a riki smau. genre: smau, crack, fluff, idol au pairing: non-idol! riki x non-idol! reader warnings: swearing, ignore timestamps taglist is CLOSED!

[connorsnothereeither]

So like, a while ago I did a little update on the Brink fics, and I figured it was worth giving a kinda sad update on my other Fable fics as well.

At this stage, there are no plans to continue or finish Your Skin Beneath My Teeth (the second book in the Blood series).

I know this is probably disappointing, because I know a lot of people really loved the Vampire AU. But from a personal writing level, I’m just sort of unhappy with the direction of the books, and I don’t have the time to commit to rewriting them. I’m not invested enough in my own story, and while that’s a shame, I don’t know if there’s much I can do without just giving myself time to stew on it.

There’s also a logistical side to things as well. Fable is coming to an end in less than a month. I feel like it’ll probably take me months to finish the Brink series still first, which are the fics I’m personally more passionate about. And at a certain point, I don’t want Fable to be the only thing that consumes my writing for the next year+. Not to mention the time I want to dedicate to other SMPs and creative projects I’m involved in, like Cantripped, Bound SMP, and Terramortis, with even more stuff in the works.

On top of all that like… I’m just a guy, ya know. I’m a full time student, work part-time most days of the week, commute between 2 major cities regularly, and I have other things that just deserve my time more.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been in fandoms for years, I know it’s shitty when fics you enjoy never get an ending. But I hope that like, people get where I’m coming from with discontinuing it, I guess.

Besides, there is, technically, an ending for Blood. I’ve had the ending written since the end of the first book (it’s just getting there that’s the problem) and so if people would like, as some sort of closure for the story, I would be happy to release that here on Tumblr or on my Kofi or something. Maybe I’ll make a follow up post with a poll.

I might as well mention that there is likewise no plan to “finish” the Band AU, but since that was always a collection of one-shots, there was never really a plan or end for any of it. It was always kinda disjointed without an end in sight lol.

I’m not saying that I’m NEVER going to go back to these fics. Just that it’s unlikely. But who knows, maybe someday I’ll crawl out of the dirt to finish them-

If you did only follow my Fable fics for the Blood books though, I’m sure some elements of my other fan works might appeal to you, if you want to give them a go! The horror/contemplations of humanity are the key theme of Brink, and the mystery/thriller, high stakes political conflict mixed with interpersonal melodrama is the focus of Cascading Skies, my new Bound fic. And of course those and so many more things are just key elements to like all of my storytelling my canon characters lol. But if none of that ticks your boxes, it was great to have y’all along for the bloody vampire ride :D

Anyway this was me getting sappy about setting aside a project I worked really hard on lol. Sometimes you gotta do that and sometimes that’s okay, and that’s an attitude I struggle with but am getting better at. I know don’t owe y’all any kind of explanation for this, I could have just stopped and let it die, but I wanted to give one. More for me personally really; I needed to say something about it publicly to like… fully cement in my mind what I decided on a long time ago. Anyway, catch y’all later when I’m not incredibly tired, and hopefully with a more silly goofy post ✌️

[steddieas-shegoes]

another one for the requests ^^

a steve and johnathan friendship please. will and el seeing steve as their older brother along with johnathan, hopper and joyce treating steve as their own, and johnathan and steve just overall having a good friendship. (pre-relationship steddie with eddie getting jealous of johnathan because steve just recently came out to the Party as bi, and jancy broke up weeks before it, and none of the others - except robin ofc - know why steve is spending a lot of time at the hopper-byers' house)

I AM TEAM STEVE AND JONATHAN BEING FRIENDS!!! They both did shitty things, and just as real humans do, they figured it out and made themselves better. I'm also team Eddie is incredibly jealous of any other man who gets Steve's attention. This request was unexpected and fun and I liked being able to explore Jonathan a bit more. Thank you!!! - Mickala ❤️

-------------------------------------------------

If you asked Steve where he thought he’d be a year ago, his answer wouldn’t have been this.

Sitting on the Byers’ couch, running his hands through Jonathan’s hair while he cried.

Steve has practically been living at the Byers home for a month, Joyce insisting he join them for dinner so often it just got easier to come over after work every day and spend the night when he had a few too many beers with Hopper.

Will had quickly become his second favorite kid, only behind Dustin, tied with Max.

He was shy, but Steve loved the way he lit up when he talked about things he cared about. He was so excited to show Steve his new campaign ideas when he came over, and even though Steve only understood about 10% of what came out of his mouth, he couldn’t help smiling at him the entire time.

But his friendship with Jonathan was most surprising of all.

Even Robin was getting jealous.

But it was different with Jonathan.

Especially when he broke up with Nancy.

It wasn’t ugly, there was no big argument, and there truly were no hard feelings between them.

But Jonathan was hurting and Steve was there.

And no one knew the post-breakup with Nancy Wheeler hurt quite like Steve.

But that was weeks ago, and Steve kind of expected things to be going better than they were.

“It’s not even that I’m upset she’s going! I’m glad she’s going. That’s why I broke up with her. I’m just also sad that it has to be like this,” Jonathan sniffled against Steve’s lap.

Nancy left for Yale today. It wasn’t her first choice, but it was the best option for her major out of the offers she got. Everyone had gotten together to see her off, even Jonathan, and it looked like he’d held off the breakdown as long as he could.

“Hey, it’s understandable to be upset. You loved each other and it’s hard to see that final goodbye. Up until now she was still hanging out with all of us so it didn’t feel real, now it does.”

Jonathan sighed and closed his eyes.

Steve smiled down at him.

“You’ve got time to figure out what you’re lookin’ for, man. It’ll get easier to be without her.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Steve was startled when the door opened, Will excitedly talking with Eddie, who’d been driving him back after Hellfire for two weeks now.

“Hey Will, hey Eddie,” Steve said with a small wave, one hand still occupied with playing with Jonathan’s hair.

“Hey Steve!” Will exclaimed.

Will kept talking to Eddie, but Steve noticed he wasn’t paying attention.

He was glaring at Jonathan.

Steve looked down to see if Jonathan was glaring at him, or for any explanation of what was happening.

But Jonathan’s eyes had closed again, his face not quite smiling, but more relaxed than it had been for most of the evening.

When Steve looked back up at Eddie, he was looking at the floor, brows furrowed and a frown on his face.

“Uh, Will, I’m gonna head home. I’ll see you on Saturday, though?”

Will looked dejected, and Steve hated it.

“Oh. Okay. See you Saturday,” he said, walking out of the living room to get to his room.

Steve saw red.

“What the hell is your problem?” Steve asked Eddie.

“What?” Eddie had the audacity to look shocked at being called out for his suddenly shitty behavior towards Will.

“Will was talking to you and you just blew him off.”

Jonathan sat up now, his eyes burning a hole through Eddie.

Jonathan and Eddie got along fine, they weren’t close friends or anything, but they seemed to get along when they all hung out in a group. But Jonathan was incredibly protective of Will, way more than Steve even, and if Eddie was being rude to him, Jonathan would make sure he knew he wasn’t going to let it happen.

He was a chill guy until you messed with Will or El.

Then again, so was Steve.

“Uh. I.”

Jonathan stood up and walked over to Eddie. He didn’t look angry yet, not like he had the potential to be, but he didn’t look pleased.

“Get your shit under control, man. It’s not what you think. Will doesn’t deserve you acting like that because you’re jealous.”

Which made no fucking sense to Steve, but he decided to let Jonathan handle it.

Eddie’s wide eyes watched as Jonathan left the room, probably to check on Will.

Steve stared at him from the couch, not sure what to say.

“Um. I’ll go. Sorry,” Eddie said awkwardly, which is something Steve wasn’t used to.

Eddie was never awkward, always bigger than his body in ways Steve didn’t think possible. Unapologetically loud, fun, a spitfire.

So seeing him like this made him hesitant to believe he meant any actual harm towards Will.

“Hey,” Steve stopped him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, man. Um. Just tell Will I’ll call tomorrow.”

And then he was gone.

Steve knew better than to follow; Whatever was going on with Eddie would be fine by tomorrow.

Will, however, may be truly hurt and upset.

Steve walked down the hall quietly, not wanting to interrupt Jonathan and Will if they were in the middle of something.

He heard their voices speaking so softly. That should have been a sign to turn around.

But then he heard his name.

“He didn’t mean anything by it, Will. He had a jealous moment because of Steve and took it out on you. I’m sure he’s sorry.”

“Why was he jealous of Steve?”

Jonathan sighed.

“You know how Steve just came out a couple weeks ago?”

“Yeah.”

Steve was about to fall through the wall just to hear where this was going.

“Well, Eddie’s had a massive crush on him for damn near a year now. And he got his hopes up that Steve might feel the same when he came out, which is fine. It’s a natural reaction, you know that. But he also knows that I broke up with Nancy and spend a lot of time with Steve and you saw how he was comforting me when you got home. To you, it looks like just brothers helping each other, but to him, it probably looked a little different.”

“What, like you two are together? Gross.”

Jonathan laughed.

“Yeah, I know. But I can see how he would think that. And you and I both know it hurts when someone we love doesn’t return our feelings.”

Steve’s head was spinning.

Eddie having a crush on him felt like something Jonathan was making up just to make Will feel better.

Just when he was turning around to go back to the couch and figure out what the hell he was feeling, El came out of her room.

She froze when she saw him.

She looked towards Will’s bedroom door, then back at Steve.

He silently begged her not to say anything, and luckily, even without reading his mind, she seemed to know what he was asking.

She nodded and walked along to the kitchen, where Joyce was finishing up dinner for all of them.

“So, do you think Steve likes Eddie? Or is Eddie gonna have to feel terrible forever?”

“Will, you’re not gonna feel terrible forever.” Steve couldn’t hear if Will said anything, but the silence only lasted a moment. “But I think maybe Steve does and just doesn’t realize it. Or maybe he does and just doesn’t think Eddie feels the same. Don’t know how since he literally makes heart eyes at him every chance he gets.”

They both laughed and Steve felt unbalanced, like the next breath might knock him over.

If they were right, if Eddie had feelings for him, then he could see why he was so upset finding Jonathan’s head in his lap earlier.

“Boys! Dinner!” Joyce yelled from the kitchen.

Steve jumped and quickly walked to the kitchen so Jonathan and Will wouldn’t know he eavesdropped on their conversation.

He was quiet through dinner, which wasn’t too unusual. He answered questions when he was asked, asked El about her next girl’s night with Max, asked Will about his campaign.

But Jonathan kept looking at him like he knew.

He got out of there as soon as he was done helping with clean up, saying he was tired and needed some rest before his opening shift tomorrow.

El and Will gave him a hug, Joyce kissed his cheek, and Jonathan followed him out.

That wasn’t what he wanted.

Jonathan stopped him at the front door, hand on his arm.

“Steve. Will’s okay. Don’t be too hard on Eddie, okay?”

Steve just nodded, then gave Jonathan a quick hug before leaving.

He drove home in silence, only his thoughts keeping him company.

—---------------

He talked to Robin because of course he did. She would know what to do.

“Dingus, this feels pretty black and white to me. You have confirmation he likes you. You just spent 20 minutes telling me how amazing he is, which means you like him. He isn’t gonna make a move if he thinks you’re with Jonathan, and he’s valid for thinking that, by the way. You two are freakishly close. You have to do something.”

Steve knew she was right, but he hated when she was right, and he didn’t want her to be right.

“But what if Jonathan is wrong? Maybe he just thinks that’s why he was upset.”

Robin stared blankly at him.

“Steve. Ask Eddie out or I am gonna jump off the cliff at the quarry. God, I cannot with you two.”

Which led Steve to believe Eddie had been talking to Robin about him and caused him to spiral again.

But Robin ignored him and said she wouldn’t talk to him about anything except work until he grew a pair and talked to Eddie.

—--------------------

He was standing outside of the Byers house, here for dinner again, but Eddie’s van was parked outside, which was weird.

It’s not that he wasn’t welcome, Joyce always invited anyone who needed to eat.

It’s just that Hellfire was supposed to be right now, at Eddie’s house, which was not here.

But he was here.

Jonathan opened the door, trash bag in hand, and smiled when he saw Steve standing there.

“Oh, you’re here! Everything okay?”

Steve nodded.

“You sure?” Jonathan started to look concerned. “If you need to skip, I’m sure Mom will understand. She knows you’re working a lot.”

“No, I’m good. Uh, need me to take that out?”

“No, I got it. You go inside, say hi to everyone.”

Steve had no choice but to do what he said.

Something felt off.

And when he walked into the living room to see El and Will sitting on the floor with Eddie, everything felt off.

“Steve!” El yelled, jumping up and running over to give him a hug.

Will followed behind, not quite as enthusiastic, but smiling all the same.

Eddie waved from the floor, small smile on his face.

Steve hated whatever was happening, not because Eddie was here, but because Eddie was never like this around him. He was usually easygoing and tactile, not quiet and awkward.

“Is that Steve?” Joyce called as she walked into the living room. “Hi, honey! Can I have your help with something for just a second?”

“Of course.”

He followed her back into the kitchen, ignoring the way his stomach was in knots at the idea of having a family dinner with Eddie here.

“So, Eddie’s having a rough day, and we invited him for dinner. His favorite is lasagna, so that’s in the oven. Will told me his favorite dessert was brownies, but the texture just isn’t right on these. I’m worried they won’t cook right. Can you take a look?”

Steve wasn’t exactly a baker, but he dabbled in it. His specialty was homemade brownies.

He tried not to let his mind linger on why Eddie was having a rough day, and followed Joyce to where the brownie mix sat in a bowl, which was a very pale brown color.

He knew without even tasting it what was wrong, but he didn’t want to make Joyce feel bad, so he stirred it a bit and then dipped his finger in the batter.

“Ah. Needs cocoa powder,” he said with a smile.

“Of course! I can’t believe I forgot that. Could you get that taken care of?”

And then she was gone.

So, Steve handled it.

He found her cocoa powder, added it in, then took another taste.

This was his recipe. He’d given it to her a while ago, but she’d joked that she couldn’t possibly do his brownies such a disservice.

Whatever was going on with Eddie must be bad.

Then Eddie walked in the kitchen. Alone.

Just as Steve was licking his finger to make sure it didn’t need any more sugar or salt.

They stared at each other for a moment, both their eyes wide in surprise.

“Brownies? What’s the occasion?” Eddie finally asked.

“Uh. Joyce said they’re your favorite?”

“They are. But why does that matter?”

“Uh. She said you were having a bad day.”

Eddie’s face was red.

“Oh. Um. I just had a doctor’s appointment is all.”

Steve’s heart stopped.

“Is everything okay? Are you hurt? Are you sick? Did they find something wrong?”

Steve was closer to him, his hands hovering over his body like he could sense if something was off.

“I’m okay,” Eddie smirked. “Just had to do a lot of tests and I’m sore now. Nothing wrong, though.”

“Good. That’s good,” Steve supplied, his hands dropping to his sides uselessly.

“Yeah. Good.”

Whatever was happening here sucked. Steve hated being like this with Eddie.

He thought about what Robin said, about what Jonathan had told Will.

“You wanna go out with me sometime?”

Steve was an idiot. Truly. Just spitting it out like that, no warning, not even sure if Eddie actually did like him.

“What?”

Eddie looked like he was five seconds from passing out.

“Like on a date?” Then Steve stopped. Eddie would have said yes if he really liked him, right? He wouldn’t have hesitated. “Yeah, I mean, it’s cool though, if not. We don’t have to. Just an idea. I mean Jonathan said-”

“What did Jonathan say?”

“He said you liked me, and he’s just trying to be a good friend and help me out, maybe he was just making sure I didn’t feel bad for liking you so much, I dunno-”

Eddie’s lips were on his.

Eddie’s lips were on his.

Holy shit.

“You’re not with Jonathan?” Eddie asked without pulling away completely.

Steve shook his head.

“You don’t like Jonathan?”

Steve shook his head again.

“You like me?”

Steve nodded.

“Then yeah, let’s go on a date.”

Steve suddenly heard cheering from just outside the kitchen.

He pulled away from Eddie and turned to see Joyce and Jonathan standing behind a clapping El and Will.

“You guys are the worst,” Steve said, running a hand over his face.

“Are we? You never would’ve made a move on your own dude,” Jonathan said, giving him a high five before swiping his finger through the brownie batter.

“I was gonna!”

“When you were 50 maybe!”

Everyone was laughing when Hopper walked in the front door.

“What’s so funny?” His gruff voice thundered through the living room and kitchen.

“Eddie thought Steve and I were a couple,” Jonathan said. “Fixed it, though. Now they’re together.”

Hopper looked between all of them, shook his head, then started heading to his bedroom to change.

“I don’t know why I ask,” his voice could be heard as he walked away.

“So, where are you taking me on our first date, Stevie?”

“How about we let Jonathan pick since he wants to meddle so bad?”

Jonathan laughed.

“This was all mom’s idea. She was tired of the pining.”

“You should go get milkshakes!” El said.

“And then go to the drive-in!” Will added.

“Not a bad idea, actually,” Steve said, turning to Eddie. “Sound okay to you?”

“Yeah, but first, bake these brownies. Your brownie recipe is my favorite.”

“You’re my favorite,” Steve replied.

Everyone groaned.

“Oh, now it’s gonna be worse,” Jonathan joked, shoving Steve’s shoulder playfully.

“So much worse,” Eddie added with a smile.

[nburkhardt]

Having those sad thoughts, now putting it on the boy 😔

It’s moments like this that makes him want the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

Everyone is gathered today for the first time in a while, he doesn’t even remember the last time he even saw some of them. He’s been working so often and still lives in Hawkins, unlike most of the group now.

It’s good, things are good. He’s pretty happy or well, okay. He’s good though, pretty content even. Life is fine.

It’s just, standing here having only needed a few minutes to get them caught up in his daily life.

(Wake up, get dressed, eat, and go to work. Come home, relax, maybe call Robin or Eddie. Feed himself and repeat.)

Everyone else? Robin? Nancy? Hell, even Dustin? It’s been an hour and Dustin and Claudia won’t stop talking about how good school is going and they’re waiting on the letters for colleges! “Can you believe that Steve?!”

Nancy’s well on her way up some journalism company, can’t wait to get her own spot in the newspaper! There’s some course Robin’s in the middle of that’s been keeping her up at all hours. Oh and didn’t you hear? Jonathan’s thinking of moving back to California for photography!

“- and today, El got accepted as a volunteer at the new animal shelter! It’s such wonderful news, don’t you think Steve?”

He forced a smile and nodded, about to open his mouth when Joyce patted his arm with a “oh! Karen’s here, hold that thought I’ll be right back!” Before walking away and he gets to drop the smile.

Wishing he could just leave the party but he’s Robin’s ride and she’s definitely having fun catching up with everyone. He’s already said his piece to those he asked.

“eh, life’s pretty good. Been just saving up to get an apartment with Robs. Ya know?” And “I haven’t thought about it much, college just didn’t- seem right? I’m just focusing on work right now”

He can’t even take an hour talking about himself now. It’s over and out within minutes. None of the here adults really want to hear him go on a rant about basketball and he can go on forever about his car, but no one wants that information. Robin and him talk about those daily, even if she doesn’t understand half of it.

So, he’d really like for everyone to stop asking things or bringing up accomplishments of others, “I’m just so proud of my boy, my little genius!”

“Will’s painting is really taking off! Jonathan’s photography skills is so much better now, look see!”

It’s really getting to him and he wants to leave. Doesn’t feel like anyone is even listening when he does get to talk about himself, which is dumb because he loves these people.

The thing is, he just feels stuck. Feels like a has been, like he was this once amazing toy that got thrown outside and forgotten. He hates this, hates that his life isn’t anything to talk about, hates feeling like he’s doing nothing with his life.

How is he goddamn twenty-one years old and feel like nothing about him is good enough to talk about?

Robin reminds him daily that his brain is being dumb, that he’ll figure things out soon. It’s just not the right now for him, that he’s only twenty-one and there’s so many more years ahead of him. It’ll hit even eventually, that to stop comparing people.

He knows that, really he does.

It’s just, a lot. Okay?

Ending it there before I ramble myself into a rabbit hole.

Welp I had thoughts and now I’m feeling a bit better but goddamn I’m seriously feeling it. There’s no tears or anything but even with music blasting in my ears + my edible hitting, my brain won’t shut up about how I’m twenty seven and stuck.

How I’m still working a retail job, holding myself back from getting the GED I need to even apply to a cosmetology school. And that whenever anyone asks me for an update all I can say is ‘well I just bought this cool new funko!’ Or ‘nah I’m just taking walks and nope, still haven’t changed my mind about kids’ and sure, yeah we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others because that’s just shitty thinking but I can’t help it 🥲

I’m stuck and even when I do start talking hobbies or thinks I like, everyone just doesn’t care? Or well they do but they don’t understand and sometimes judge me on what I do.

Idk I’m just feeling things and venting using my fave person. Just venting and getting this out.

Also I’m sure I’m not alone in this feeling. So if you also feel this, I’m sorry 💜 our time will come!!

[smalltownotomeenjoyer]

Collar x Malice sick headcanons bc I’m bored (I have not played Unlimited yet, so any inaccuracies are my bad lmao.)

(POSSIBLE SPOILERS INCLUDED!!)

•Enomoto:

-Dying(tm)

-It is fatal, and the light at the end of the tunnel is ever present. (No, shut up Seaweed Head, I’m being serious over here.)

-Is lowkey exaggerating his symptoms for special treatment because he’s secretly a pillow princess, but he does legitimately feel like shit.

-As soon as the realization he can’t cuddle settles in, he starts trying to convince himself and everybody else that he’s completely fine. (He is not- do not listen to him.)

•Sasazuka:

-Gets noticeably quieter when sick- as in, he doesn’t shoot teasing quips at anyone as often.

-Refuses to put his laptop away even though he is actively struggling to keep his eyes open. You have to drag him kicking and screaming from his desk to bed, or else he will collapse.

-His appetite goes away, and getting him to actually eat is almost always a losing battle. Somehow, he is still able to stomach half a donut on a bad day.

-Despite getting a fever, he is always wrapped up in a blanket, and if you try to take it from him, he might bite you. (Enomoto learned this the hard way.)

•Okazaki:

-This guy is so good at masking his symptoms, that he’ll either get sick and it’ll pass without much fanfare, and you’ll only hear about it by accident later, OR you won’t know until he has collapsed.

-The only thing that keeps him in bed is if you bribe him, and even then, he will try to bargain with you. (“Listen, I will watch your favorite movie with you if you PLEASE stay in bed.” “Okay, but once the movie is over I-“ “NO.”)

-Will not say no to a big ol’ bowl of soup for meals.

-He gets a lot of really weird, and often distressing fever dreams, so he doesn’t like being by himself when sleeping.

•Shiraishi:

-He has never been sick in his entire life, and as soon as he starts feeling Any symptom he has no idea what the fuck to do.

-Is literally bedridden from how shit he feels (he can’t tell if it’s because he doesn’t know what feeling sick is like and is just suffering from that, or if he genuinely is experiencing abnormally shitty symptoms). [Note: it is both.]

-His senses aren’t as good, so he tends to get freaked out more easily by someone approaching him, and his reflexes are just as bad.

-Gets “weirdly emotional” when sick, as he calls it. But really it’s just the anxiety of him not having as much control over his body, and his brain being at 60-ish percent capacity.

•Yanagi:

-He’s fine.

-He can still do laundry, cleaning and cooking, don’t worry it’s just a headache and congestion.

-But if he is contagious, stay away from him just in case, he would feel horrible if you got sick because of him.

-Okay, fine, he’ll go lay down for an hour and sleep it off. (Is completely knocked out for ten hours straight.)

[simphornies]

Hi lovely! Can you please do a one with a platonic angel dust X reader where the reader has a contract with Vox and the two of them bond over their shitty “bosses?” And the reader works as Vox’s bodyguard! I think it’d be so cute if they walk to vee tower together whenever their bosses call them in and never leave without each other! I’d imagine at first Angel soundly really care much for the reader, but after he joins the hotel they become great friends!

A/N: This one isn't really long so I'm sorry! I did my best 🥲 Writing a platonic story was harder for me than I thought </3

Word count: 831

Platonic! Angel Dust x Reader

You worked at VoxTek under Vox and you absolutely hate every second of it. You get the shorter end of the stick considering his hypnotism doesn’t work on you so you saw him for who he really was. You stayed at the hotel after finding a loophole in your contract with Vox. Every single day was more so annoying than anything. Considering you’re his bodyguard, you would have to go everywhere with him and catching up with Vox, the overlord that can zap into any electric device and teleport away, wasn’t really the easiest thing to do. You looked forward to getting out of work and hanging out with the hotel staff everyday.

One specific day, Vox decided to meet up with Valentino for the day during one of his shoots. There you met the famous Angel Dust. You two clicked as soon as you met, constantly talking about your contracts together and finding loopholes. You didn’t fail to notice how he held himself back from you a lot of the time, not really opening up and keeping up a mask. So you decided to try and get him into the hotel.

“Angel!” You called out to him. He just finished his shift, looking more tired than usual. “Rough shoot?”

He laughed and elbowed you, “Yeah. Rough.”

You rolled your eyes and laughed with him. “Okay that one was on me.” The two of you started walking home, chatting about your day.

“Hey so. I’d like to say we’ve been…y’know…friends for a while but I don’t even know where you stay.” You looked at him, “I’d wanna come over for drinks some time.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, “Ah. I don’t know…I live with Valentino.”

You choked on your own spit, “You live with him? Where have you been going every time we get off of work?”

“To the bar. Clubs.” He shrugged, “Anywhere with alcohol and drugs, honestly. I hate living with him so staying away for as long as possible is ideal.”

“You know…” You began, “I stay at the Hazbin Hotel. It’s really not that bad.”

“Y/N where are you goin’ with this?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“You could crash with us, y’know?” You suggested. He was about to protest against it but you quickly stopped him. “Think about it! We get to be roommates, they have a bar and we can drink together and we get to go to work together!”

You shook his arm, “C’mon Angel! Pleaseeee?” You whined, giving him the best puppy dog eyes you could.

“I…I don’t know. Val wouldn’t be too happy with that.”

“Fuck Val. Fuck Vox. Fuck the Vees in general!” You exclaimed, “It’d be nice to have you around. You can’t have drugs there though.”

He groaned, “What? No drugs?” He whined, “Where’s the fun in that?”

“You trust me, don’t you? It’ll be plenty of fun. They got a bartender that I think is just your type.” You winked, elbowing his side.

“Hmmm…I don’t know, Y/N.”

“Angel I will get on my knees in the middle of the sidewalk and start screaming, crying, sobbing and begging.” You threatened him. He looked at you dumbfounded but the look of determination was clear in your eyes.

He sighed and ran his hands through his hair, “Ah fuck it. Sure. Take me to this hotel. I don’t got stuff like that anyways.”

You squealed in excitement, practically dragging him to the hotel. As soon as Angel got there, it didn’t take long for him to get used to the place. He definitely liked Husk, the bartender you mentioned earlier, as soon as he saw him.

You helped Angel practically move out a box of things he had at Valentino’s along with his pet, Fat Nuggets. It was fairly easy sneaking around the blind moth for you. After moving him into the hotel, you took notice of him getting happier by the day.

He still had to work with Valentino as you did with Vox. It wasn’t long for you and him to grow closer everyday. So much so that you two had a system going on in the morning.

Your daily routine with Angel would be getting up and getting ready at the same time, him helping you with your makeup for the day and the both of you going to work. Every shift sucked but it sucked a lot less ever since you two stayed together.

Angel confided in you more and you’d do the same. You would help him stay sober, drug wise. Every now and then the two of you would go out with Cherri Bomb, causing mayhem in the city and fighting in turf wars.

Hell wasn’t easy but with your new best friend by your side and a surprisingly good support system at the hotel, everyday gets easier.

You just wished you could get the both of you out of the contracts that bind you to the Vees one day.

[sammywolfgirl]

Actually no let’s dissect this new layout as someone who has used Twitter for a bit @staff listen up @wip @changes

I used Twitter for about a year because a lot of my mutuals at the time did, and you know what?

I hated the layout.

I didn’t like how I had to keep tabs on my friends because the algorithm would show me shitty stuff I wouldn’t want to see and was so hard to curate a feed

I’m fairly certain I ended up blocking a lot of people because they kept liking pictures of boobs and I didn’t want to see that shit and Twitter never let you turn that off

I ended up blocking people who kept getting recommended because their art made me sick and I didn’t want to see untagged nsfw on my feed

And the side bar sucked, it took me a while to figure out how to post in the first place

And don’t get me started about having a trending tab always right there and how it would set off my anxiety because every day it was just “here’s a new thing to make you want to jump off a cliff!”

Twitter and the way it works is designed to get hate clicks and engage on outrage, is that the method you want to follow?

Especially for a website who’s users are very loudly against that and also like privacy and will literally use outside resources to fix the ‘improvements’ you made because you didn’t think a toggle feature was worth it

Also putting the stuff on the left or right does not draw the eye, why? Because that’s where your hands are. Blocking the features you want to engage with. My eye is drawn up so putting your stuff there works best! It gets attention. Not to the right where my big ass hand is blocking the post button. (This is also why you should put the mobile post bubble back in the bar where it belongs but that’s a topic for another day)

I understand tumblr is in debt hell, but users have stated many times that if you just ask for donations like ao3 they’d be happy to donate

Hell, crab day was thrown around to be just like that.

Listen to your users or they will all leave for the websites you’re poorly emulating.

Tumblr is surviving because it offers an experience NO OTHER WEBSITE DOES

Taking that away just means tumblr is not unique, and users would rather try their luck with a website that’s doing this better.

Like Twitter, or tic tok, or Instagram.

Lean into your uniqueness and just ask for donations like an adult, just a little add that shows up in the add rotation that’s like “like what you see? Why not throw a dollar in the tip jar?” Like frame it like giving money to an artist so they can keep doing what you love, it’ll be charming!

Tumblr will not find success or even break even if you try and appeal to newcomers, every new social media is confusing to newbies, but you know what they do? They learn, and they adapt. And changing everything is going to make you loose legacy users who again, would LOVE TO DONATE MONEY TO KEEP THIS HELLSIGHT STANDING AS IS.

Or do you just not care about the users? The users who have the money you need.

I don’t want to watch tumblr die a slow and painful death like Twitter is.

And you know there’s something oddly poetic about tumblr, the quirky kid, tearing itself apart just to fit in with the popular kids which won’t work out and only lead to hollow friendships that can turn on a dime when you could have found meaningful relationships with the other weirdos who like your quirks and flaws and would have been ride or die for you.

But no we gotta be like Twitter so let’s chop off our arms and legs becsuse that’s what they’re doing

Tkdr listen to your users and open an donations sight so you can keep being tumblr and get money for it okay? Okay. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk

[skhardwarevers1]

Okay I know I just went over this earlier and a did make a tutorial on TikTok but I feel like saying it here,

burning CDS is easy as FUCK

Or, a little explanation on how I make custom CDs

disclaimer: I use windows so if you use anything else I’m so sorry

I’ll add pictures to go along with this later!!!

things you absolutely NEED

a computer/laptop

(If said computer/laptop doesn’t have a built in disc drive) an external disc drive (there are pretty good ones for like 20-25 dollars!!)

CDs/DVDs obviously (either R or RW, the only difference is that you can rewrite RW CDs and DVDs)

also! DVDs obviously hold picture and video as well as audio, so do what you want with those

Technically step one

if you thrifted CDs like I did, or found really old ones in a box in your home somewhere, MAKE SURE THEY ARE EMPTY!!! If you want to keep the stuff on them, there’s an option to rip them in windows media player legacy (which is what I use to burn them as well)

then to erase it, open file explorer, click on the CD/DVD in your disc drive, click the three dots on the toolbar and select “Erase this disc” (this usually doesn’t take too long)

Actual Step One

if you want to make a mixtape, make a Spotify playlist of all the songs you want and copy the link to it (or any other platform, I just find it easier to make a Spotify playlist because I can download it), if you’re just doing an album then get the link of that album instead (make sure both of them can actually fit on the CD you have! Mine can hold like…74 minutes of music)

then use this handy little Spotify downloader to download a zip file of all the songs (sometimes it messes up and will exclude some, make sure to double check they’re all in there…if not you can download them individually too)

Step Two

in your files, open up the zip file of all the music, select them all, and copy them to music (there’s a whole section for it that media player uses, trust me you’ll see it)

then open windows media player legacy and double check it’s in there—usually it’s gathered by artist

step two and a half

Okay so most of the time I go to organize -> settings -> privacy -> and uncheck all the top boxes. You don’t have to, I just do that…idk why I just have.

Step Three (the easy part)

first make sure the CD is set as an audio CD (and also that it’s actually in the disc drive), and click the burn tab

drag all the songs you want on the CD into the burn list, and reorder them however you’d like! There are options to shuffle them and organize them specific ways if you’d like. Once you have everything all set you can click start burn and all you have to do is wait! It’ll eject once it’s done

Step 4 (optional)

If you have a jewel case, you can print or draw your own custom covers and backs!!!! You can also draw on CDs with a sharpie marker if you’d like. Just remember that slim cases have different sizing than standard cases. There’s also stickers for CDs that cover the fronts of them(? Or so I’ve been told…)

Step 5

make sure the CD actually works, try playing it on a different device if you can, and enjoy!!!

Step “what if I don’t have a CD player?”

well I’m gonna tell you you probably do and just don’t know it! do you have a DVD player laying around your house? That’s a CD player! do you have an old ass computer that would suck with burning the CDs itself but still has a disc drive an everything? That’s a CD Player!

do you have a shitty old karaoke machine? Chances are it has a spot for CDs! THATS A CD PLAYER!

Of course you can get a new one if none of these are functional devices for you or you just don’t have them, but I just wanted to point out that a lot of things can be used to play CDs

or you can help me bring back Walkmans and discmans….if you’re listening to music on the go…./silly

Also! Some cars have spots to play CDs in them!! Your CD doesn’t have to be limited to your home!!!

also also, I’m 70% sure that a lot of game consoles can play DVDs but not CDs. Saying thing incase the information is valuable for someone who wants to watch a good movie on DVD or something….